Looking Back On How We Got Here
by Lazyeye76
Summary: Haley the good loving tutor girl cheerleader..and Nathan Scott the arrogant jerky next door neighbor battle it off in love, romance, and tons of drama! Thrown in the same social grouping its unevitable for the two enemies to come together!
1. From the begining of time

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing and don't plan on owning it anytime soon. I just like to write for the fun of it!

Haley walked into her living room and smiled at all the friendly faces she was greeted by. All her closest friends and family member. The people that loved and cared for her most. All were gathered to celebrate Haley. Not just Haley but also her companion. The other half that made her complete. Her one true love. Haley looked down as little Mackenzi wrapped her arms tightly around Haley's leg and smiled.

H. Hey Baby girl what are you up too? lifting the little girl off the ground you causing any trouble?  
M. Now what would make you _tink_ a thing like that Aunt Hales?  
H. laughed that's right, you baby girl are a perfectly sweet angel right?  
M. Wrong. I no longer a baby girl Aunt Hales. I'm _free_ years old. Me big girl now.  
H. Oh is that what daddy told you?  
M. nodded her head proudly Yep daddy tell me a lot of things. Did you know daddy even told me a secret? He said I no tell anyone else. Isn't that great?  
H. sure is baby g... I mean little lady.  
M. giggled _wittle wady_? Is that me?  
H. Sure is. Since your Free I might as well make your name more grown up.  
M. Aunt Hales I'm not free, I'm _free._ stated simply holding up three of her fingers.  
H. Oh I see. So are you gonna tell me what this secret is that your daddy's making you keep?  
M. ummm...

Mackenzi put her little finger up to her chin; indicating she was thinking and then made her way out of Haley's arms and over to her father.

M. Daddy can I _pwease_ tell Aunt Hales the surprise secret? _Pwease?..._

Mackenzi gave a pleading look and her father gave a slight nod and wink signaling it was okay for her to share the secret. She ran over to her mother and sat in her lap.

M.Everybody, Mama and daddy are _bwinging_ me a baby sister or brother to play with. Right now she's sleeping in mama's belly until she grows big like me. rubbing her mother's stomach and whispering softly _hewwo_ in there.. Me your big sister.

There were many cheers of joy and congratulations being directed towards the happily married couple. Haley made her way over to her very close friends. She stood in front of her Buddy of many years and gave her a hug. Brookie. Now I have someone to go through this whole wonderful pregnancy experience with. sighs  
B. laughs How's the little guy today?  
H. placing her hand over her petite expanding belly well I'm pretty sure he's having a field day right about now. This ones going to be a fighter that's for sure.  
B. I'm so happy we're only a few months apart. Our babies will be playmates!

Both girls let out shrieks of excitement and embraced each other. Lucas soon was at their sides, opening his arms widely hugging both the girls, and joining in on their screams. Haley playfully smacked his arm and rolled her eyes.  
H. Luke you're such a dork.  
L. And that's why you love me Hales.  
H. Sure Luke, you just keep telling yourself that.  
M. Daddy up. reaching her arms up towards Lucas  
L. groaned Come on Kenz, why don't you go play with Jenny. Daddy's tired of holding you.  
M. tears forming in her eyes D...Daddy hold?  
B. Luke please, honestly. bending down to lift Mackenzi Come on baby. Mommy will hold you.

Tears started to spill from the little girls' eyes as she cried into her mothers shoulder. Brooke shook her head at Lucas and gave him a look.

B. Shhh Mackenzi...don't cry.

Lucas sighed. Just by looking at him you could tell he felt bad for hurting his daughter. He brought his hands to her back and started to rub it in a soothing manner.

L. Kenz, sweetie don't cry.  
M. Wh...wh...why you no hold me? sniffs  
L. Baby Daddies' shoulder is a little sore right now.  
B. Luke!  
L. What?  
B. You said it was getting better.  
L. and it is. It's just a little soar that's all. focusing back on Mackenzi Dry those eyes sweet pea okay? lightly kissed her cheek and ran a hand through her hair Come on why don't you and I go play a game in the other room with Jenny. Does that sound good?

Lucas carefully lifted her out of Brookes' arms and placed her onto the floor. Taking Lucas' hand Mackenzi gave a smile as she dragged her Father away.

M. Can we play tea _pawty_ daddy?  
L. Oh of course sweat pea. Your tea is just to die for.

Mackenzi let out a giggle and the two walked off together.

H. Wow he sure is good with her Brooke.  
B. Yeah, he's crazy about her. And I'm sure Nathan will be just as good with yours' soon to come. Speaking of Nathan where did he run off to?  
H. Um he's around somewhere. I still can't believe it has been three years already. I mean it feels like everyday I spend with him is out of a fairy-tale. He's everything I've ever wanted in my life. He's my prince. I mean it may sound corny but...

Nathan had previously walked into the living room and heard the words his wife had spoken. This had brought a smile to his face and he also had to hold back tears that were threatening to fall. He walked up behind Haley and lightly wrapped his arms around her waist.

N. It doesn't sound corny to me babe. lightly kisses her cheek I feel the exact same way.

Haley turned around and greeted her husband with a soft kiss. Brooke took the moment to head off and mingle leaving the two to be alone. Haley sighed into Nathan's' mouth and gave one last peck on the lips before pulling away entirely.

N. So we made it three years.  
H. looping her hands with his that we did. We've made it through a lot together. I'm glad I've had you by my side through all these years Nathan.  
N. I would have never dreamt of it another. kissing the side of Haley's' temple  
H. laughs you know our friends from years ago would be shocked to know that we ended up this way. I never thought there would be a day when I would actually accept a date with you, never mind a proposal. I'm just glad everything worked out this way, for the better.  
N. Me too. My life wouldn't be complete without you being a part of it.  
H. sighs All I can say is you have definitely made an impact in my life.  
N. And you with mine. I'm no longer the same Nathan Scott from high school, that's a given.  
H. I agree...you sure have change Nate, we both have. All the mistakes and experiences we shared have definitely made a great difference in our lives. thinks back to her teenage high school years. Sophomore year to be exact...It was the night before all Tree Hill youths would be heading back to school. The last night of so called "freedom." Haley James had just come down the stairs wearing one of her famous outfits. The ones that showed just enough without looking trashy and still making the guys drool over her. She was definitely part of the "in crowd" and people could tell. She was absolutely stunning. She was well known around school, town and just about anywhere. Every girl wanted to be Haley or at least associate with her and every guy wanted her as his own. One more than most. Yes the ever popular Nathan Scott wanted more than anything to be with Haley. Honestly he was a male version of her. The guys wanted to be seen with him and those who didn't just envied him and the girls, well they liked to do the whole swooning thing. Every girl except for Haley James that is. Haley had no interest what so ever in the popular basketball player. This only made Nathan's desire for her stronger. You see Nathan is one of those people that has gotten everything he's always wanted. He has never been turned down by a girl before and being rejected by Haley James intrigued him. He would have to put up a fight and he had every intention on winning his battle, like with everything else. Haley had no desire of this happening now or anywhere near the future. She despised the guy to be exact. True Haley and Nathan were both crowned most popular in there environment and both were a part of the same crowd, they were both very different types of people. Nathan was an arrogant Jerk who got everything his little heart desired. He never had to work for anything and everything was just simply handed to him. Woman groveled at his feet left and right and he loved it. Nathan also was aware of his charming good looks and made it known to everyone that he was referred to as a "god" as some woman put it. He was definitely a cocky one. Nathan cared to much for himself and always put his needs first, Haley despised it. She on the other hand was an exact opposite. True she was popular and loved by most but she didn't let that stop her from being a down to earth, lovable girl. Haley's parents unlike Nathan's were not as fortunate. They didn't have the wealth that the Scott's obtained. They never would. Haley's Dad Garry James was a hard worker. He owned a body shop and made an average amount of pay while Haley's motherDianna James worked part time at a nursing home, helping take care of the elderly. They were a quaint family and good company to be around, well most of the time. Despite some problems with her mother, Haley still could keep and upbeat attitude. She cared for everyone. It didn't matter the popularity status of a person. If they were sweet and had a good personality why outcast them? She was the perfect role model and many young ones looked up to her. Cheerleader of the Tree Hill Ravens was one of her many passions and skills. Her others were tutoring students on her time off, singing in front of her friends and family, helping her dad in the shop, and joining her mother every other weekend at the nursing home. Those were just activities in her life, things she enjoyed doing. She still had to make it to her nightly shift at Karen's Cafe waitressing ; her way of making some cash, finishing up her homework and keeping reasonable grades, doing everyday chores, helping her mother, and every now and then make it to one of the many parties she was expected to attend. Like tonight for instance, the last night of freedom type bash. Everyone who was anyone was supposed to attend. Which made Haley ponder reasons at which she never saw Ricky Thompson at one of these blow outs. He was a smart guy with outstanding grades but little to no friends. Why? Well he was what was considered a nerd at Tree Hill High and nerds were simply not people right? Wrong. Haley hated how the smarter ones or the heavier ones, or the stupider ones were treated badly. They had just as right as anyone to be at one of those parties but were they invited? Of course not. They were not considered anyone. For this reason and many more Haley thought of staying home. "Why associate with this" she thought to herself. But taking one glance at her mother made her reconsider it all. For the last few years Haley James mother, Dianne James has been suffering from alcoholism. Nights when she didn't have to head into work she would stay at home drinking away. Haley looked over at her mother who was sprawled across the couch moaning.

D. Haleyyyy...dropping the bottle of Vodka to the floor with a crash  
H. sighs Mom what are you doing!  
D. Haley don't yell. My head... it hurtsssss cried  
H. Well maybe if you stopped downing so much VODKA YOUR HEAD WOULDN'T BE ACHING raising her voice louder  
D. Must you always yell?  
H. Must you always do this? picking up empty bottles off the floor and throwing them in a trash bag I'm sick of it!  
D. I'm sorry...  
H. No... no your not. If you were sorry you would get of your ass and get yourself the help you need. You wouldn't be doing this. LOOK AT THIS PLACE! IM TIRED OF BEING YOUR CARE TAKER! tears starting to fall as she continued to yell GET UP! CLEAN YOURSELF UP MOM! FIX YOUR LIFE! FIX THIS FAMILY! Your pushing us all away, don't you see? Dad's hardly ever around. He spends more and more time down at the shop. Joey hasn't been back here to visit at all this summer and quite frankly i need him. I can't take this anymore. I can't do it alone.  
D. oh baby...  
H. Don't oh baby me... This is all your fault. You created this mess. All these problems are your doing. Now try to fix them. sighs I'm going to wait for Luke outside. I'll be home late, don't wait up!

Haley walked out the back door and slammed it before letting the remainder of her tears fall. She put a hand to her head and sighed deeply.

N. Hey is everything alright beautiful?

Haley recognized that voice without even having to open up her eyes. The one male voice that made her cringe. It was her cocky, jerk of a neighbor Nathan Scott. Go figure right? The man she disliked most. The only person she had hateful feelings toward was not just part of her crowd, no he was her neighbor. Haley slowly opened her eyes and looked into the deep blue eyes in front of her. She quickly scanned the view before her and it honestly took everything she had inside herself to keep from smiling. Despite the personality Nathan's exterior was completely pleasing to the female eye. He had the perfect length of dark brown hair that made you want to run your fingers through the side. His eyes were the darkest shade of blue adn just seemed to sparkle, his jawline was perfectly cut and it was tempting not to lean over and kiss those lips of his. Nathan also was quite built. His body frame was well more than perfect for a seventeen year old to posses. There was no denying it, he was gorgeous. As Haley continued to check out the sight she noticed a smirk slowly spreading across Nathans face.

N. Like what you see?  
H. Please Nathan, don't flatter yourself. she tried wiping the remaining tears that wouldn't seem to stop coming.  
N. Is everything alright Hales?

Haley cringed at hearing her nickname being used. The one only her closest friends and family members used. The name given to her by best friend Brooke Davis. Also used by male best friend Lucas Scott.. Yep Nathan Scott's half brother. It's weird how to brothers can be entirely different. Lucas was her brother from another mother and the one she could always go to if she needed a shoulder. Yes those type of people in her life were aloud to call her Hales. Nathan Scott, her only enemy on the other hand was just not. Haley of course did not mention this to him. She would just let it slide this time, next time though would be a different story.

H. I'm fine Nathan, you can go away now.  
N. I'm not sure I believe that. You look like a damsel in distress.  
H. and let me guess your my knight in shining armor?  
N. You'd like that wouldn't you. smiling  
H. Only in your dreams Scott.  
N. smile changing into smirk Don't I know it. But in my dreams we do more than play damsels in distress. winks Care to make my dreams come true?  
H. Ugh... please excuse me while I gag.  
N. lets out a laugh I'm not so sure you understand what exactly your turning down here. Sure you don't want to reconsider?  
H. Not if you were the last person on earth.

Lucas pulled up in his red Truck that read "Garry's Body shop... We aim to please" loggo on the side. Lucas had worked for her father ever since they met. So really ever since he turned the age of thirteen he had been working with Garry. They formed a close relationship and that made Haley and Luke even closer. Lucas honked the horn twice indicating his arrival.

H. sarcastically Well as much fun as this has been and oh i mean bundles that is my ride and unfortunately that means my departure.  
N. Oh so sad to hear that. You'll be missed dearly. gives a laugh you going to the party?  
H. Yeah unfortunetly  
N. Well you know I'll be there. In the flesh running his hands down his sides I know you won't want to miss that..raising his voice SO I WILL CATCH YOU LATER BABE!

Haley had already started walking away toward the truck when Nathan started to speak and wasn't paying attention to much he was saying. She had indeed caught the last bit dew to the fact he had practically screamed it. She turned herself around while opening the door and replied back.

H. NO YOU WON'T! LATER SCUMBAG!

Haley hopped into the truck and gave Lucas a quick peck on the lips.

L. What was with the love fest and my brother just shared?

As much as Haley despised Nathan, Lucas couldn't seem to have those same feelings toward his brother. He was in fact very close with the guy. He did understand where Haley was coming from and he knew how Nathan could be but he also knew the real Nathan. The one no other really knew. The one that only opened himself up to Lucas. The one who confided in him. That Nathan was the one Lucas knew and really liked. But Haley never got a chance to see that. Lucas knew it was hopeless reasoning with her. She already had her mind set and that was fine with him. He was just hoping some day she could see... one day she would truly meet and understand the REAL Nathan Scott, the one he called his brother.

L. You know from over here it looked as though you two were having a moment.  
H. laughed ugh he wishes. Nope actually just the usual banter, nothing new. You do have perfect timing though. I should really thank you for that. So how's my bestest buddy?  
L. Great but I think I should be asking you that question. You look pretty down buttercup. What's got you so sad? leaned over and brushed away a tear that escaped from Haley's eye  
H. breathing deeply and chocking out the words in a whisper Mom...paused she's just... wearing me out.  
L. Have you talked to Joey lately?  
H. No I don't want to put him through this misery.  
L. Oh and you should go through it all alone?  
H. Well why should two suffer when One can handle it just fine.  
L. Well maybe...  
H. interrupting Luke please, lets just not talk about it.  
L. but...  
H. pleadingly please. I just want to have fun tonight. Leave everything at home and just have some fun with my best friend.  
L. Alright. smiles Now are we ready to PARTY?...


	2. Smith residence

Haley let out a shriek as Lucas roared the engine and took off to their destination. After about a fifteen minute ride and Lucas driving well over the speed limit, they arrived at the Smith house. Tim Smith, friend of Haley and Luke. He is definitely one of the wildest ones of the bunch and to everyone's dismay quite the pervert at times. Even so he has the heart of a well a puppy really. Haley looked up to him. He was like her brother. The protector. As was Lucas but Tim was there since day one, and even though Haley ended up growing closer to Lucas in the end a part of Tim would always be in her heart. Luke grew close to Tim as well and they got together frequently. They consider each other "they boys" as they like to put it. Their friendship was based on two solid things. The two things that they both shared in common and truly cherished. One was basketball of course. Jersey number 3 and 55 of the Tree Hill Ravens. Basketball was a major part of both of their lives. Probably more important then most things. Except for the second thing they both had liking for, Haley James. Luke and Tim both had a special connection with the girl. Simply platonic of course but they shared a liking to the friendship. Big brothers of her and a shoulder to cry on. They didn't resent each other knowing that Haley shared this with the both of them. They only cherished it more. If Tim ever had the slightest bit of worry concerning Haley, Lucas would be the first he would speak to and vise versa. They were her family. They were her True Brothers and that is something Haley would always be thankful for.

The sound of music was blaring as the two made their way through the front door. Haley and Luke walked through the crowd before meeting up with several familiar faces. Brooke was immediately in Haley's arms squeezing her tightly.

B. Hey bestest friend, boy did I miss you. Your looking cute tonight sweetie. Did you go on a little shopping spree without me? frowns  
H. Never. I just rummaged through my closet and found this little attire. What about you. Your looking mighty fine tonight.  
B. This old thing. Nope this babi is old. But I'm glad you like it.

H. I do. So what's up love?  
B. Well this party of course has been a drag without my partner in crime at my side to help me stir up some trouble.  
H. laughed

Brooke Davis had been Haley's friend since they were in diapers. They grew up on the same street and formed a friendship immediately. They are more like sisters than actual friends. Brooke's parents like most of the "upper-class" are always going away on business trips and leaving Brooke alone for months at times. So being that Brooke's parents were well not the best care-takers and Haley's troubled mother has made the two girls rely on each other. They with the boys included and a few other close friends were a big happy family. No need for anyone else. Brooke like Haley was one of the popular girls. Except against Haley's will she enjoyed every minute of it. She was a wild one. Not in a bad sense of course. She knew when she was going overboard and always maintained her drinking to a minimum. Brooke never lost complete control and balanced her self quite well. Haley respected her for this and wished she could be more like her crazy out going friend. True Haley was outgoing and a blast to associate with but she was nothing like Brooke. Most liked how humble Haley was and opted for her friendship against Brookes but they were missing out. At least that is what Haley always thought. No body loved and cared about people more than Brooke Davis. Even though people believed Haley was the nice one, which no denying she was. But she has never given the love or received such love like Brooke has. Sure Haley loved Brooke, Tim, Peyton, Jake, and of course Lucas but she had never experienced the love that she wanted. The love that she was yet to come in contact with. No Haley had never let herself fall in love with anyone. She opted to love someone to an extent but never let herself fall. To Haley that never had sounded so appealing anyway. "Who wants to FALL in love?" she would always ask with such wonder. "It's a great feeling Haley. You feel as if you can fly, touch the stars, reach your utmost dreams." Brooke would coo and look to her friend with such a smile. "Then tell me, why is it called falling? Just the name leads you to believe that you are bound to get hurt. You are bound to fall!" Haley replied with an assurance. Brooke simply would sigh before replying her last statement. "You'll never quite understand Haley until you let someone in." And Brooke was absolutely right. Haley never let anyone in and she liked it that way. No disappointment. Yes Haley James has dated; she even had a few past boyfriends, ones she had loved. But no never once had she fallen head over heels in love. That was the difference between the two friends. That is what secretly Haley wished to obtain. To be like Brooke, let someone in and love them like you never loved before. That is what separated the two friends.

B. Haley. Sweetie are you even listening to me?

H. yeah of course. Sorry I was just thinking.

B. Is everything okay? You like a little out of it. How's your mom?

H. smiled you know me to well Brooke.

B. Well of course silly, I'm your other half. Now you want to talk about it?

H. Not really. Just looking to have some fun for tonight.

B. Well you have come to the right place. Now that your here all is right again. Ready to cause some major chaos?

H. First one little question.

B. okay?

H. Why is it that Peyton over here couldn't help you stir up some trouble?

B. looking back at Peyton Oh Cheer bitch? Well that's simple sweetie, two reasons. One she seems a little pre-occupied with mister man over there. pointing to Peyton who was comfortable sitting on Jake's lap kissing him lightly and two well lets just say she's got a friend visiting. Two to be exact. One is well known Mrs. Period herself. And the other who better than Mr. PMS.

P. pulled away from Jake and turned to Brooke and Haley you know I really resent that nick-name.

B. laughing but it suits you so well love.

P. rolls eyes and I do not have PMS.

J. Peyt, baby it's a lost cause

Everyone erupted in laughter and Peyton slapped Jake on the shoulder.

P. Your supposed to be on my side Jake.

J. not when they are right

P.I do not have PMS.

B. rolls eyes whatever you say sweetheart. Lucas hey hadn't noticed you there.

H. That would be a first

B. Tutor girl please not now sweetie.pleading look and walking over to Lucas So Luke how have you been

L. Pretty good.

B. Miss me much?

L. that's an understatement

B. Oh really. running her hands up and down Lucas' chest

H. Ugh okay as much fun this is, you know watching my two best friends aimlessly flirt before my eyes. I think it may be time for this young lady to get herself a drink. Excuse me.

Haley made her way slowly through the crowd trying her best to avoid attention. A few guys would give a little whistle as she walked along with such confidence. She rolled her eyes though as she heard this "what am I a dog?" she would ask them coldly and walk away before hearing there replies. She had almost made her way to the kitchen when her path was blocked by a certain person. He scanned her over and a smile played on his lips.

H. Can I help you with something Tim?

T. My my my Ms. James your looking very Hottt in that outfit you got on. Owwwww...

H. laughing and giving him a hug Oh Tim when will you learn. The whole jock population, it's just not for me. Sorry hunny but it's just never gonna happen.

T. Well excuse me as I go mend my broken heart. Looking over at the Blonde standing in the far corner of the room

H. following his gaze you go get her tiger and don't take no for an answer.

Tim gave Haley a wink before walking off. That was what their relationship. A mix between bantering and flirtation. They both saw each other as family and never anything more but they enjoyed the fun of teasing one another. Haley watched as Tim made his way over to that same blonde and smiled seeing as though they had started a conversation.

H. Go Tim.

N. Excuse Me?

H. Sorry I hadn't realized I was speaking to you. Do you need something Nathan?

N. well that depends...

H. interrupting Do not finish that sentence. Now what is it that you wanted again?

N. My someone's in a mood this evening. I was actually going to offer you a drink. holding out one of the cups that were in his hands

H. Thanks but I'd rather not. I can get my own drink thank you very much. Now shouldn't you be upstairs right about now with you know one of your many bimbo girlfriends?

N. Not tonight my dear. Tonight my attraction is set on a certain someone.smirk

H. Nathan... go away.

Haley walked into the kitchen and noticed a group of guys sitting around the table having a round of shots. This tempted Haley and she quickly made her way over to them.

H. Hey fellas care if I join in on the fun?

D. Well well look who it is little Ms. Haley James, ice princess.

H. Shove it Danny!

D. Such words. Tisk tisk tisk. So how have you been baby?

H. Like it matters at all to you anyway.

D. Sure it matters. So tell me exactly how much do you miss me?

H. glare Wow Danny how did you know. Am I that transparent? Come back to me my prince. My heart bleeds without hearing your voice. That voice... I remember it well. Hearing your insults or your name-calling. How much I miss being put down all the time. grabs a shot and downs it so can I join in or what?

D. Knock yourself out.

H. Oh trust me, I plan too.

Haley takes a seat at the table and looks around at the group before her. It consists of her ex-boyfriend Danny Hampton, his brother Josh Hampton, Danny's best friend Billy Parkton and a few others that Haley didn't recognize. She grabbed the shot in front of her and downed it without hesitation. She planned on letting loose tonight. She wanted to forget her worries. She wanted to be free for the night and that is exactly what she did.

Nathan scanned the living room for a certain brunette. He hadn't seen her anywhere and he was curious where she had run off too. He made his over to his friends stopping a few times to say hello to the many woman that craved for his attention. He spotted his friends over by the side of the room and walked over to join them. Peyton seemed to be having a conversation with Jake about his one year old daughter Jenny while Brooke sat in Lucas' lap making out. Nathan hadn't noticed Haley and quite frankly he was starting to worry.

N. Have you guys seen Haley?

P. Nathan when are you going to get over yourself and realize Haley does not want you?

N. sighed ignoring her comment Where is she Peyt?

P. Honestly I don't know. The last time I saw her she was heading to get a drink. But Nate that was a while ago, I have no idea where she could have gone. I'm sure she's around.

N. thanks.

Nathan made his way into the kitchen scanning the room for Haley. Worry was taking over and he was not absolutely sure why this was happening. He knew he liked the girl but she was just that, a girl. True to him she was a task at hand and that is all he thought was his feelings but knowing that she could be in trouble was nawing away at his insides and he was not so sure of what that meant. He pushed all thoughts aside as he made his way over to the group of guys hoping one of them had seen Haley.

N. Have any of you seen Haley James?

B. Yeah, yeah we saw her.

N. Well where is she?

B. Look if you're looking to get laid you already lost your chance man. She's upstairs with Danny as we speak.

Nathan's jaw clenched. Had he heard right? Haley was with Danny? Danny Hampton? No way was he going to let that guy get with Haley before he had the chance. He walked up the stairs and headed towards the bedroom closest to the staircase. He slowly opened the door honestly afraid he would be too late. The room was dark but he could still hear her cries. He flicked the light switch and clenched his fist when he saw the sight in front of him. 

N. What the...


	3. A little too much fun

Nathan's blood was boiling seeing the sight in front of him. Boy was he glad he walked in when he did. Danny was lying on top of Haley holding both of her arms down, pinning her as she cried for him to stop. His shirt was in a ball on the floor and Nathan noticed one of Haley's straps to her shirt loosely hanging revealing part of her under garment. Nathan didn't think twice before pouncing on the guy, ripping him off of Haley and pushing him firmly up against the wall. He placed his hands against Danny's throat and spoke.  
N. What the hell do you think you are doing?  
D. Oh come on Nate. You never had fun before?laughs  
Nathan tightened his grasp on Danny. Sure the guy had a point. Nathan many of times has taken advantage of a highly intoxicated girl before, simply for pleasure. For some reason though seeing Haley in the state she was in with this guy laying over her, obviously against her free will bothered him. Of course it should. Nathan had been in some situations similar to this before but in his case one thing was different. Yes the girls may have had a share of drinks but they never once put up a fight, they wanted Nathan. Haley on the other hand he could tell was against this and he was not going to let this guy hurt her. He looked Danny deep in the eyes tightening his grip even more.  
N. You ever come within 20 ft. of _my_ Haley again and you'll wish you were never born. I will make sure you regret ever touching her. Understood?  
Yes Danny was well built and if it came down to it he could put up a tough fight but Danny also understood the rules. Those un-written but respected none the less. Nobody messes with Nathan Scott and gets away with it. That may even be why no one ever has bothered trying. Nathan was a very popular guy, no doubt he had connections. For this reason many just kept peace with the guy if wanting to survive the school year. Danny was well aware of this and just nodded silently at Nathan's demand.  
N. Answer me! Understood?  
D. Yes sighs understood.  
Nathan released his grip on Danny and watched in disgust as he left the room. Once gone Nathan turned his attention towards Haley who was now in a sitting position at the end of the bed, holding her knees to her chest and letting the tears fall. This was the second time he had seen her cry today and it broke him. He walked over to the bed and sat by her. Nathan noticed her loose strap and slowly brought his hand to her body, lifting the strap back over her shoulder.  
N. Hales...  
H. winced Please don't call me that.  
N. sighs Sorry. Are you going to be okay?  
H. You can go if that's what you're asking. Got a girl to get back to?  
N. Come on Haley I'm being sincere here.  
H. That would be a first.  
N. Why are you so spiteful towards me?  
H. laughs why are you so...so...  
N. So what?  
H. snaps so you Nathan! God what are you even doing up here?  
N. I was worried about you.  
H. You were worried? Ha since when does Nathan Scott care enough to worry?  
N. You know nothing about me Haley.  
H. slurring I know enough...I do.  
N. You think you know me so well? Tell me a few things about who I am. I'd really like to hear this. What do you know?  
H. Plenty! I know your main concern is yourself, basketball is all you have to offer the world, and you could careless about your grades. school to you is just a place to show off your popularity, your biggest fear is not getting ANY or ENOUGH in the course of a night, you don't have any goals in life, you get everything you want in life handed to you by your perfect little parents, you think your better than everyone else, and you honestly have no feelings at all!  
N. are you finished yet?  
H. Yeah that pretty much wraps it up.  
N. reaches over and wipes a tear from Haley's eyes why do you hate me so much?  
H. crying harder that's easy Nathan, it's easier to hate than...  
N. than what?  
H. than love.  
N. confused wha...  
Nathan was interrupted by Haley's lips crashing with his own. It took him a minute to realize exactly what was happening but soon he was following suit and began kissing Haley back. His hands soon found a position at the side if her hips, pushing her even closer to his body. He felt Haley move slightly causing herself to lie down as he began positioning himself slightly above Haley, not once breaking the kiss. As things started to grow even more intense Nathan began rationalizing what was taking place. He was kissing Haley James, the girl of his dreams. The girl _in_ his dreams. Something he had been hoping would happen for the past few years. He finally was getting what he wanted. Finally he had won his task at hand but why was he not happier? Why was it not feeling right? Nathan new he wanted this more than anything but what about Haley? Was this something she really wanted? Or was this something happening only due to the alcohol in her system? It was known she was intoxicated and on any given day Nathan new Haley would never jump at the chance to be with him. He felt a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. One unfamiliar to him but known to be caused by the feeling of guilt. Nathan new what had to be done.  
N. pulling away Haley maybe we shouldn't. This isn't righ...  
Looking down Nathan noticed a peacefully sleeping Haley. "Yep she definitely had one to many drinks for a night" he thought to himself as he slowly got off of her and stood to his feet. He then walked to the end of the bed, carefully took of her shoes, and brought a blanket up around her body. Lying himself on top of the blanket he rested his head on the pillow beside Haley and looked over at her. "She looks so innocent so beautiful" Nathan thought to himself. He shook his head a few times and laughed at the thought. Was Nathan Scott actually thinking those things? Was he actually going soft? Of course not. He was just caught up in the moment. Or so he thought.  
N. leaning over and kissing Haley's cheek Goodnight babe, Sweet dreams.


	4. Morning revalations

Sunlight had seemed to be on Haley's bad side today as she squinted her eyes before fully opening them. Her head was beginning to pound and she felt, well not herself. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. If only she could remember the events that took place the night before, if only she could remember how she had gotten into this bed, and most importantly if only it was clear to her whose bed this belonged. Haley laid there for a minute pondering all of this but her reasoning still coming up blank. Then she remembered "Tim's' party." She and Luke had come together and her intentions were to let loose and of course to forget. Haley smiled to herself "well like the saying goes... mission accomplished." She laughed out loud and was beyond shocked to feel movement coming from the bed. No sooner after the movement did she feel an arm drape around her waist and a body scoot even closer to her own. She cursed herself over and over inside of her head. Haley's plan for last night seemed fool-proof but now looking down at the manly arm holding her body she realized she may have overlooked some very important points. Well now would be a better time than any to see who the other was. To face the man she assumed she had "been with" the previous night. So being brave and knowing now would be the time Haley cautiously turned to see his sleeping figure. Of all the people, all the guys it had to be him. Haley was shocked, surprised, scared, angry, and a little nervous all at once. Talk about mix emotions huh? She stumbled trying to get away but the fact that her body was wrapped in blankets she only succeeded in one thing, making a loud crash as she fell to the floor.

H. Holy mother of...  
N. interrupting Well morning to you to Haley.  
H. what... how... w...why... no no no continueing to shake her head  
N. Whoa okay slow down there lady killer. Breath. Okay now care to try again?

Haley furiously lifted her body from the floor, standing to her feet and looking both Nathan and herself over. Both of their clothes still seemed to be in tact. Hmm... Maybe she was just over reacting. She sighed taking a deep breath, closing her eyes, and preparing herself for the worst. One thing you should know about Haley is despite her popularity background she was still sweet and innocent. Meaning even though she could have the privilege of sleeping with any of the high school population she chose against it and remained chaste. That's right Ms. Haley Elizabeth James was still a virgin. Not many new the secret she kept. Well other than some of her closest friends, her parents, and of course some of her past boyfriends, but everyone else seemed to think she was just like every other cheerleader. They never thought that a girl like her had made a promise not only to herself but to her parents that she would remain chaste till after saying "I do." So far it hadn't been a problem. Other than occasional break-ups caused solely on this reason it had never fully affected Haley. That is until now. Now after losing complete control the night before and chancing breaking that promise Haley began to panic. She needed answers and she needed them now.

H. Please, please tell me we didn't you know last night.  
N. smirked I'm sorry I don't exactly know what your referring to as "you know" can you maybe be a little more specific.  
H. Ugh you know exactly what "you know" means Nathan so don't even start with me! Just answer the damn question.  
N. I'm really not taking a liking to that tone Ms. Haley James. Now maybe if you went about asking that question a little nicer, maybe then I would have thought about giving you a proper answer.  
H. Honestly I don't need this right now! What I need are some answers.  
N. Oh is that so... mom

Haley looked up at the ceiling. She didn't understand why he was doing this. Did he really enjoy seeing her suffer? Did he want to make her cry? Who was she kidding of course he did. Nathan Scott was the most repulsive adolescent there was and Haley was quite aware of this. Instead of going out of his way to make people happy he enjoyed doing the opposite. This was yet another reason she despised him. Another reason to loathe him. He enjoyed watching her suffer or so she thought and this only made the tears flow more freely. Haley was a very secretive type of girl. She never let anyone see her suffer or let them feel her pain. She hated looking weak in front of people and crying was a sure sign of weakness. The only time Haley could let her feelings show was when she was locked away in her room writing in her journal or burying her face deep within her pillow. If at anytime Haley cried outside of her bedroom walls it had to be a big deal. Nobody else was aloud to see her unless a part of her precious circle and that was if and only if she needed a shoulder to lean on for support or someone to wipe those tears away. Anger was starting to build up inside of her. Nathan Scott her enemy had broken her. He had not only witnessed but also caused her to break down.

H. For crying out loud Nathan stops being an ass and just answers the question!  
N. Why? Is it really that big of a deal if we did?  
H. of course it is Nathan. It's a huge deal! raising her voice  
N. why?  
H. Answer my question and I'll answer yours.  
N. What was the question again?  
H. grinding her teeth did we have sex last night?  
N. You and I?...Together?...Us?...Haley and Nathan?...The both of...  
H. NATHAN!  
N. no Haley we didn't. Are you happy now?  
H. Very much so. starts walking out the door stopping only when Nathan grabs her Arm. Can I help you?  
N. I answered. Now it's your turn.  
H. whoa look at the time. Don't want to be late on our first day back. That doesn't set such a good...  
N. Haley why would it be so bad?  
H. For many reasons. One being the fact that you're not my fondest person to be around.  
N. and the others?  
H. Ugh you wouldn't understand okay? Sex to you is like a chore or something. You would never understand my reasoning, ever.  
N. Just try me.  
H. No. I don't really like opening up with you Nathan. You're not exactly a friend to me so therefore you don't need to know anyways. I don't really like you so sharing secrets or reasoning with you is pointless.  
N. frustrated Yeah well that's not what your opinion was on me last night.  
H. But I thought you said we didn't...  
N. We didn't!  
H. Then what the hell are you talking about Nathan?  
N. I don't know. Why don't you figure it out!  
Nathan turned and stormed into the connected bathroom slamming the door behind him and ending their conversation at that. Haley left wondering what Nathan's meaning was to that statement and Nathan pondering the reasons why Haley felt the need to hide her feelings she admitted to having. What a day this was going to be. Will everything go smoothly as planned or will there be more bumps and discoveries down this road?


	5. Leaving, love, life

Pulling up to the school all three teenagers released a breath of air. The car ride had been full with much tension and the only voice heard was that of Tim when trying to start a conversation with either Nathan or Haley. Earlier that morning they had just decided to get ready at Tim's house and then head to school from there. Haley was dressed in the exact outfit as the previous night but now had a light pink hoodie over her top. Once the car made a complete stop Haley dashed out in search of a friendly face. It took her a couple of minutes until hearing the voice of her bestest friend. Brooke and Lucas were standing a few feet away and as fast as she could she made her way over to the "couple." Lucas was facing Brooke and flirting aimlessly when staggering forward. Smiling he held securely on to the legs that had wrapped around his waist.  
H. Guess who.  
L. Gee I'm not sure. But judging by the fact that my back practically gave out with all the weight I seem to be carrying I'd have to go with... Nathan?  
H. Ha ha, very funny Luke.  
L. Damn Hales what did you do this summer? Eat the whole house down?  
H. Actually I spent it with a rather idiotic fellow.  
L. gorgeous?  
H. not one ounce of him.  
L. Hey now...

Both girls shared a laugh at the face Lucas was making. It was a cross between a pout and a smirk. If that's even possible. Ever since they met it had been this way between them. Never the sexual tension or even the flirtatious banter. No, that was saved for Tim. But with Lucas and Haley it was just plain laughs. They enjoyed nothing more than making the other smile or hear the others laugh. That is one of the reasons why they worked. Haley and Lucas together never had to be serious and it was all play. The two could spend a day in the park swinging on swings or in their old beat up tree house they made a few years back. It didn't matter really as long as they were together. Haley loved Lucas more than life itself and was glad that even though Timmy was in her life she had made room for him also. Her life would be empty without his jokes and dumb remarks. That's what made them, well them. That's what made their relationship special. Nathan never really understood the relationship. Haley was a beauty in his eyes that and a possible night of fun. But whenever speaking those words to Luke, asking him why he never saw Haley as more than a friend he would simply reply "She's my baby sister Nate, my best friend. Simple as that." Nathan would never get it though. He had never opened or shared enough with a person to have a relationship like that. The only one that really new Nathan was Lucas. Everyone else just saw the mask of him. The person he made himself to be. Never ever the real him though. It's not that our Nathan didn't want to be cared for by someone. Or even that friendship seemed stupid in his eyes. No, it was the fact that he was scared. Scared to let his walls down. The walls he spent far to long building. Afraid that someone would find out the real Nathan Scott. Discover that basketball was just a piece of Nathan's life and as much as people thought there was far more to him than just a jock. For instance most didn't know he enjoyed romance films. Ha that's right Nathan Scott liked romantic movies. Cried his eyes out to them even. Ever since he was a young boy on Wednesday nights, the only night his mother was free from work he would sit down on the couch with her. Eat a full bag of popcorn and together they would cry to one movie or another. All touching films, full of love. The kind of films most teenage guys do not enjoy. The ones their girlfriends have to force them to simply watch. If anyone new that Nathan was watching things like that on his own free will, well he didn't even want to think about the rumors. That is why it always remained a secret. A special thing that him and his mother shared. And one of the many hidden secrets he kept from his so called "friends" and the popular crowd. See he could never open up to someone the way Lucas did. It would make a dent in his reputation and that would destroy him. For those reasons Nathan always scoffed at Lucas and Haley when they were sharing a moment or were just having fun. He would always seem to find away to ruin it.

N. Haley, Haley, Haley, you should really be more careful when wearing a skirt like that. lightly tapped her back side Not that I'm complaining or anything but...  
H. Oh my gosh. jumping off of Lucas' back and pulling at her skirt Must you always be a perv. Nathan?  
N. Now Haley I'm just looking out for you. You know your not so hard on the eyes and with that butt of yours...  
H. interupting Can you for one minute be a real human being and stop letting Little Nathan control your thoughts?  
P. Now Hales don't put the blame all on Nathan. After all he is a guy.  
Peyton and Jake walked over to the group holding hands  
H. A very unhinged one at that.  
N. Harsh, harsh words from a woman with such beauty. Honestly I do not understand.  
B. That's it. As much as we all enjoy watching you two Bicker or whatever the hell it is that you two do, we should really be getting to class. Can you keep the sexual tension to a minimum until the end of the day? I really don't want to be dealing with this right now.  
N. I'll try there Brookie but no promises. looked Haley up and down  
H. Ugh...let's get to class.  
B. Later boys, Lucas.  
P. Time to go roll with the girls. Catch you later baby okay  
Kisses Jake softly and together the three girls walk off.  
B. This is it ladies. We are finally here.  
P. and exactly where is it that we are Brooke?  
B. Well just think. Three hott ladies like ourselves, one step closer to freedom, and looks around many many new cute boy toys, I'd say we've finally reached home P. Sawyer.  
H. giggles I couldn't agree with you more B. Davis.  
P. So are we ready?  
H. Bring on the men.  
B. Whoo-hoo!

Lunch had come sooner than expected. It seemed like the day had just begun. For Haley at least. She was still trying to figure out her classes and was quite happy to find that so far at least one of her friends shared a class with her. Ugh even Nathan has been a part of her English class. Second period. That was a down fall but she tried to make the best of it. Even when witnessing him flirt with some skanky blonde she tried her best to look positive. That was her role after all. Look positive and be kind. Finally making it through the lunch line and over to the popular table as they called it she got to enjoy some time with her friends. Nathan looked up when he noticed her arrival. He knew that he got under her skin in English. He purposely flirted with that girl Kara just to get Haley the slightest bit jealous and it worked beyond belief. He could tell she was trying her best not to look like she cared but he could read through her act. He knew that for some reason it was bothering her to see him flirt with another. Maybe what she revealed to him last night was truth. After all it has been said that things revealed when intoxicated usually hold more truth than false. Maybe just maybe she had secret feelings for Nathan. A secret love for him that well wasn't so much of a secret anymore.

B. So tutor girl, how has your day been so far? Pick up any new playmates?  
H. Still scoping my surroundings. After all there are many to choose from. quickly looking at Nathan and then the others But I'm not to worried Brookie. I will find someone soon don't worry your cute little behind about it.  
P. Yeah and the way they are looking at you this year Hales. Man you could come wearing a plastic bubble and they would still not be able to pry their eyes off of you.  
N. I can see why. licks his lips  
H. Nathan whatever your thinking right now please just erase it from your mind.  
N. You like to spoil my fun don't you?  
H. You like to get on my nerves don't you?  
N. yeah, your sexy when you're all riled up about something.  
H. You know Nathan...  
B. Enough! Will you two just stop this already and admit your love for eachother?  
H. What!  
P. She's right Hales. You spend so much time fighting and bickering that your blind to see what we all are seeing.  
H. And what is that exactly? raising her voice The only feelings I hold for Nathan is pure hate!  
B. God do you even hear yourself. Sweetie I love you with all my heart. Your my bestest friend but you need to stop this and get with him right here right now.  
H. That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard Nathan is...  
Haley's cellphone begins to ring  
H. Hold that thought. Hello... Hello...M..mom is that you?...are you okay?... i.. I can't hear you. HELLO? MOM?...Shit! hangs up the phone and puts it in her pocket. I have to go guys.  
L. You need a ride?  
H. nods her head yeah. Umm Brookie can you..  
B. interupts I got it covered Hales. You will receive all your assignments at the end of the day.  
H. Thanks Brooke.  
B. Best friends hugs her tightly everything will be okay.  
H. Yeah. I hope so...

Pulling into the driveway Haley couldn't catch her breath. It seemed that something had caught deep within her throat preventing her from being able to breathe. Tears had already filled her eyes and she was once in her life truly afraid. This wasn't the first time her mother had called her home from school but this time...this time was slighty different. The way her mother's voice broke she could tell something was seriously wrong. Deep within her soul Haley felt as if she knew what was going to be revealed when she walked through her house door and debated whether or not to continue up the walkway. Lucas in tow. He has offered to go inside with her. To be her rock in case she was to break. Thankful that he had offered Haley took his hand and was now currently pulling him along with her. Once inside she could hear the yelling. Yep she was right. Her worst nightmare was turning into reality as she saw her mother come into view.

D. Haleyyyyy...Haleyyyy he's leaving sniff he won't listen to me. Why won't he listen and stop packing that damn suitcase? Make him stop Haley! MAKE HIM STOP! Shaking Haley's shoulders abruptly  
H. Mom... just.. just calm down please. Where is he?  
D. Up..Upstairs ... Fell to the couch holding her head I can't lose him Haley. I can't.  
H. And we won't. Luke can you umm... keep and eye on her for a second? I'll be right motions her head to the stairs back.  
L. nodding no problem Hales me and your mom have some catching up to do anyway right Mrs. James?  
D. Oh yes dear. I'd like that very much...

As Haley watched her best friend speak to her mother she almost let a smile form on her lips. He was so great to her. Even Dianna thought so. Which really means something. Her mother didn't accept anyone in their house after well after she developed her problem. It was if she knew exactly what she was doing but yet would never give it up for anything. Not even for Haley. Which to say was bad on her part. Haley deserved far more than she received from her family. She deserved love. Not that they didn't love her but they never once showed it or acted upon it. She sighed taking each step slowly. Trying to gather all her thoughts. Playing it over and over in her head what she would say when she came face to face with him. The reason for her mothers tears at the moment and the reason for Haley's lack of breath, her father. Once she had reached her destination of her parent's room she looked in seeing the suitcase open, laying on top of the master bed. Garry, Haley's father was standing near his bureau gathering all his belongings together and slowly and safetly placing them into the suitcase. Shutting it tightly he looked up and caught the eyes of his daughter. She looked lost, sad, and a bit angry to say the least. It's not as if this was a complete shock to her but she still couldn't believe he was leaving her behind.

H. Dad...  
G. Haley before you even start let me just say I'm not doing this because...  
H. You don't love me anymore whispers I know that dad. But you can't just leave me here. It's not fair. We're your family and even though you want to deny it this is your life.  
G. Fair? You want to talk about fair Haley James? Well tell me do you think it's fair that I work my butt off daily providing a comfortable home for you and your mother and in return I have to deal with a wife that is in her sate of mind! raising voice  
H. State of mind? What the heck dad she's not disabled. She has a drinking problem! And you're one to talk. At least you don't have to take care of her. You do nothing to help her through this dad. You just make it worse by whining about it. God you say its not fair to you? WHAT ABOUT ME? HUH? EVER THINK ABOUT POOR LITTLE HALEY? DO YOU THINK SEEING MY MOTHER LIKE THIS MAKES MY DREAMS COME TRUE? CUZ IT SURE AS HELL DOESN'T! I'M AFRAID OF BEING OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR TO LONG! SCARED THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO HER, WORRIED ABOUT WHAT MY FRIENDS WOULD THINK IF THEY KNEW MY MOM WAS AN ALCHY! IM A TEENAGER DAD! THESE ARE MY YEARS! I SHOULD BE GETTING DRUNK AND YOU GUYS SHOULD BE HELPING ME THROUGH HANGOVERS NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! SO IF ANYTHING MY LIFE IS NOT FAIR. I GOT STUCK WITH THIS LIFE! YOU... YOU DAD HAD A CHOICE! NOW YOU CAN SIT HERE AND ARGUE ALL U WANT BUT IN THE END YOU KNOW THAT I'M RIGHT!  
G. Did she tell you she got fired yesterday?  
H. confused from the nursing home?  
D. No hospital wants one of their assistants showing up to work hung over. It was bound to happen sooner or later.  
H. Yeah, I was actually hoping it would come a little later but… sighs is this the reason your leaving?  
G. Partly but Hales there is so much more to it than that. I can't… I'm not as strong as you are.  
H. You think I'm so much better at this than you? I'm not. If you only new. I may not show it but I'm having a hard time just like you. But the difference is I'm not a coward. I actually have the guts to stick around and see this family through.  
G: I love you baby girl. Always...  
H. continued and forever pauses watching her father gather his things and make his way down the stairs before following NO!  
G. Hales don't make this any harder for me than…  
H. HARDER FOR YOU? OH DEAR GOD I'M SO SORRY THAT STATING MY CASE IS ONLY MAKING IT HARDER FOR YOUUUUU! TO LEAVE NONTHELESS! CAN YOU BE ANYMORE SELFISH?  
G. Hales...  
H. And don't call me that. Don't you dare! I'm not letting you walk out of this house dad! This is your mess too! You can't just walk away!  
D. Garry?  
G. looked from Dianna to Haley I'm sorry…

Haley stood there frozen as she watched her world come crumbling down. True her father wasn't around much these last couple of months but he was the glue that held the James family together. Without him they were just a broken, shattered family. Hearing the cries from her mother only made the pain in her stomach grow. She stood watching the door, hoping that he would turn around and realize he made a mistake. He was coming back right? The sound of an engine run was what made reality set in. Haley dashed out the door yelling for him to stop and quickening her pace as the truck slowly started out of the driveway.  
H. YOU CAN'T DO THIS! IT'S NOT RIGHT! THIS IS UR FAMILY TOO! DAD! DAD ARE YOU HEARING ME! DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE!…….. GOD!  
Haley full of frustration kicked the back of the green truck and watched in fear as it continued making its way out of her life, carrying the man she loved more than any. All that was running through her mind at this point was the word "Lonely". That's what she was. Haley Anne James cheerleader, straight A student, most popular girl in school was lonely. Her whole life had been ripped to shreds with in minutes. Falling to her knees she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She heard the gasps escaping her mouth as she cried. She wasn't just crying for herself, no she was also crying for her mother. They were alone now. There was no longer a man in the house or a protector. Haley had never been so scared in her life. She heard the footsteps behind her and knew before turning around in which those footsteps belonged. Who else would witness Haley in such a weak state but her worse and all time enemy Nathan Scott. She just closed her eyes and cotinued to sob. Sure she hated the guy but what was she going to do at this point?

Nathan felt sick inside after being present to witness the scene. A scene between a father and daughter that should never be acted. One that makes you eager to cry for that person. He knew it was stupid of him to ditch when Lucas' and Haley did and honestly he knew he would edventually be hearing it from Haley on what an "ass of a move" it was for him to spy on her like that but he couldn't help it. She looked so scared at school and he was truly worried about the girl. So not using better judgement he followed his gut and that led him here. Standing next to the famous Haley James and witnessing yet again her state of weakness. For once in his life Nathan felt sorry. He felt sorry that a girl that shows such kindness as Haley had to go through so much at home. True he didn't know much but from what he just witnessed and several things he witnessed in the past he knew her life was anything like a fairytale. " God I hate that she's hurting like this. I just want to take her in my arms and tell her everything will be okay." Shaking his head Nathan couldn't help but let a smile form at his lips. Since when was he so sappy? What happened to his image? The self-assured arrogant player image. Since when was Nathan Scott sweet and sincere? But all those questions didn't matter anymore when his eyes traveled back down to the broken girl in front of him. He knelt down slowly afraid that she would argue and placed a comforting hand on her back. Feeling her jump a little at his touch he slowly began to run circles along her back in a soothingly way. Nathan worried that speaking would make her move away decided on staying quiet. She would speak to him when she was good and ready. One thing Nathan knew for sure was that Haley James was not so shy when it came to speaking her mind. She would come around. And boy was he right…

H. It's ironic isn't it?  
N. confused what is?  
H. That not only does stuff like this happen to me but also afterwards the only place I find any sort of comfort is in the arms of my enemy. Maybe ironic isn't the word. Maybe it's more on the lines of screwed.  
N. Haley I'm sorry about…  
H. Following me? Spying on me? Or making me realize that I have no one?  
N. Well…  
H. Ugh those are rhetorical questions Nate. No answers necessary. I mean here I am; Mrs. Popularity, the girl everyone envies. So many girls are jealous because of my life. They all want what I so badly am trying to leave behind. Sniffs  
N. Look Haley I know what your going through and..  
H. Do you?  
N. Do I what?  
H. Do you really know what I'm going through? I mean really? Cuz I don't think you do. You don't know anything about me Nathan. The real me. You only see what you want to see or what I won't let you see. You only want the obvious and I can't give you that. So why? Why do you even bother? Why do you stick around? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE BY MY SIDE WHEN THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER MOST ALL LEAVE ME BEHIND? WHY NATHAN JUST TELL ME!  
N. Maybe because I want to be here, maybe because you deserve someone who will help you through this, and maybe because pauses because I care about you….

Haley sat there almost shocked really. Not so much from the words that just previously spilled from Nathan's mouth but more on the reason that he actually seemed, well he seemed genuine. Almost as if he was speaking truth. Could he possibly? Was he actually capable of feeling anything more than lust or desire for her? Could the "great" Nathan Scott actually have any sort of compassion or sympathy over another? She looked up to meet his gaze tears still trickling down her cheeks and furrowed her brows. Locking her hazelnut tear filled eyes with those of a deep blue her breath got caught. For a moment she could almost see through him. Seeing all of his insecurities and hidden feelings. All of which made up his being. Everything she still wasn't so sure on. But as quickly as that one moment came it was lost. Lucas' voice had broken their stare and they both looked over as he began approaching. Haley got up from her position on the floor before quickly jolting from the grasp that Nathan; moments ago had on her. Lucas took Haley in his arms and hugged her tightly before breathlessly releasing her. He was moving rather quickly when making his way over towards her and now he needed just a second to breathe.

L. Hales she needs you. She's hysterics in there. I can't.. I mean I tried but I can't seem to get her to calm.  
H. Oh God!

With everything that just had taken place in the last few minutes her mothers presence had been forgotten. How stupid of her it was to leave her mother alone inside. She was in a crucial time these days and Haley knew that as bad as her dad leaving affected herself it hurt her mother ten times more. Forgetting all about Nathan she made a dash for the house. Running through the door she saw the sight. Dianne was hunched over on the ground much like the position Haley was in previously but she looked to be having difficult time breathing. Haley got a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach seeing this and was at her side immediately. She placed her arms protectively around her mother's frail body and rocked her back and forth in her arms. She whispered comforting words and cried along silently. Lucas and Nathan watched the scene unravel from the doorway. Tears evident in both boys' eyes. Nathan looked on with curiousness. He never new how broken Haley's family really was. After witnessing her father leaving his family, Haley's breakdown, and now watching her care for her very distraught and yet very drunken mother he realized maybe she had been right. Maybe he hadn't a clue on who Haley James really was. Maybe he always just thought of her as the picture perfect girl that carried herself well during school hours. Whatever his thoughts had been he knew now that there were things he had yet to discover about this girl and unlike before he was willing to take the time to learn more about her. Even if that meant taking things slowly. He knew that Haley would need some comfort and help through this tough time and even though Lucas would be of help he would take part in assisting.

N. Haley is there ummm.. is there anything we can do?  
Haley took notice to the fact that both Scott brothers were still present. It hadn't even registered till now that Nathan was witnessing this weak state of her lifestyle. She frowned upon this and for a moment left her mother's side. She walked towards Nathan with a look of disgust. And standing in from of him she placed each hand firmly on her hips.

H. Get out of here NATHAN! You don't belong being here! I can get on just fine without you!  
N. Will you stop? I want to help you. Why won't you just let me be here for you?  
L. Nate man come on maybe we should…  
N. interrupts NO! No I'm not just walking away. I'm not leaving her alone like this. Come on Haley let me help you  
Nathan stepped closer to Haley and reached out his hand. In many ways he was hoping she would take it. He was hoping she would accept his help. Accept him. For a minute she was considering to let her guard down. She considered trusting Nathan in hope he would prove to be a true friend and maybe even a shoulder to cry on. She looked down at his hand and then back up into those eyes. He gave a genuinely friendly smile that also showed a bit of concern. As her hand crept closer to Nathan's she held her breath. She could be possibly breaking herself more. Hurting herself in more ways by letting him in but she was willing to take that risk. At least for now. Just as her hand was about to grasp his she heard the deathly cries of her mother. She immediately retracted her arm and looked from Nathan back towards her mother.  
D. haleyyyyyy don't leave me… baby please crying HALEYYY!  
Haley let a few tears fall as her mother continued screaming her name. She looked at Nathan once more before shaking her head. Quietly she spoke to him and hoped more than anything he would listen.  
H. Go away Nathan… p..please just pauses just leave.  
She watched as he just nodded his head and turned towards the door. With his back turned against her he whispered the words of goodbye and together him and Lucas made their way out of the house. Once gone she was free to break down. She rested her head on the door momentarily before sliding down the doorframe. Holding her knees tightly to her chest she rested her chin against them. She closed her eyes lightly and wiped at her eyes before replying.  
H. Whispering bye Nate. I.. I love you


	6. His presence made known

School for haley was something that had been missed for the next few days. Leaving the house was something that she basically forbidden herself from doing. The whole outside world was merely an illusion to her or had been. Today was Friday. Haley was ready to bounce back into the outside world. At least she hoped. Her mother had already passed out on the couch before she took off in the morning and would remain in that state for well into the afternoon. Haley hoped everything would go smoothly but once again who knew for certain? Fixing her top properly and bringing yet another coat of lip gloss over her full lips she exited her car and walked over to the group of friends. Brooke had been the only one that was allowed to visit Haley these last few days and the only one who was there for her. All the others tried to speak with her but none got the chance. She couldn't let them in. She didn't want any to see the state not only her mother but she was in herself. With her father abandoning her and leaving her to care for a drunken mother Haley felt tons of burden. She was ready to break as Brooke informed the others. Brooke had spent her entire week comforting Haley and encouraging her to let her feelings show but never would she allow to break. Haley was never one to break down and cry in front of people. She hated showing her emotions more than any. She hated feeling weak in the eyes of her friends. So pushing aside all emotions and faking a genuine smile Haley made way over to the group. The only way she would make it through this day was to act like everything was normal again. Like she was normal. Following her daily routine Haley wrapped her arms tightly around Lucas' neck and jumped onto his back. Kissing his cheek lightly she spoke in a cheerful voice.  
H. Hey there buddy. Miss me?  
L. Of course. Put on another few pounds while you were away huh?  
H. JERK!   
Haley laughed as she playfully smacked Lucas' head and slid down so she was once again standing to her feet. Looking around her group of friends she found them all with the same looks plastered along their faces. Sorrow and concern.  
H. Gee guys who died?  
J. Hales how is...  
H. So everyone pumped up for the first Ravens pep rally of the year?  
B. OH YEAH BABY! I love any kind of reason to show off my cheerleading skills while looking hot all the while! GO RAVENS!  
Brooke cheered excitedly going along with Haley knowing full well exactly what she was trying to do. She sent a sympathetic look towards Jake who just shrugged his shoulders. He knew that Haley shut down when something horrible was happening much like Peyton and the best way to deal with all of this would be act as if everything was fine and dandy.  
J. Honestly I'm scared shitless.  
L. Yeah I know the feeling. As long as they don't make split with Nate and you Jagelski I'm set. We can take on the rest. That I'm sure.  
H. whoa wait a second. I'm at a loss here. What's this about a split?   
B. God Hales I didn't tell you? Shoot umm... well the coaches of both the basketball team and well the cheer team decided that this year we'd spice things up a bit. Splitting each team into two and having them go against the other.  
H. THE CHEER TEAM?  
Brooke and Peyton both gave a nod as Haley felt breathless. She couldn't possibly be cheering against Brooke and Peyton. That would suck. Giving a half smile the two teens -assure-d Haley they would be remaining a team and would end up rocking the whole school with their great performances. Haley was a bit nervous but either way she knew she would be great. Not many knew how passionate ms. Haley James was about cheerleading but it was a big part in her life. Something that made her feel inside. Something that brought a deep joy and made her feel whole. Something that brought life back into her. Even when things were looking bad...  
H. LETS GO RAVENS...LETS GO!  
Haley stood against the wall prepping herself for the pep rally that was moments away. The crowd was full of teens stomping their feet and waiting excitedly for all the commotion about to take place. Haley breathed slowly in and out as she took in all the action. Soon she watched as Whitey took the microphone and made his way to the center of the auditorium. Clearing his throat he began his introductions. Haley scanned across the way and noticed a smiling Brooke making eye contact. Giving a wink Brooke blew a kiss her way. Then turning her head over to the blonde at her side she smiled.  
H. you ready P. Sawyer?  
P. HELL YES! we're gonna beat those wanna be cheerleaders over there!  
Haley laughed as Peyton raised her voice a bit towards the ending of her sentence. Making Brooke catch every word and sticking her tongue out playfully in response. All three girls shared laughs as Whitey's voice grew louder.  
W. Ladies please... Now like I was explaining today being our first pep rally of the year we decided to add a little spice to our show. Ravens against Ravens. Scotts' against Scotts'. Teammates against teammates. Boys against...   
H. We get it coach! wrap it up already!  
Haley interrupted with her voice slightly raised. This was part of the show of course but she seemed quite serious. Laughing along with the others Haley gave a little shrug before walking over to Coach Durham. She loved being captain. She loved how she could take charge and within moments bring life to this show. This was her happy place.  
H. Alright guys lets just get on with this thing shall we? Team number one will be captained by none other than team number 3 and one of the best B-ball stars the ravens got, Lucas Scott.  
Haley paused watching as a very nervous Lucas ran from the locker room wearing his basketball uniform and making his way over to Haley. A group of guys followed his lead and smiled happily as they joined by him. Haley laughed as Lucas kissed her lightly before standing off to the right of her.  
H. Why thank you Luke. Now for team number two. Well we figured the only way to bring real live action to this show would bring the closest and most valuable players against one another. So with further ado why don't we bring out the guy that truly brings life to this team. Number twenty one, NVP player, NATHAN SCOTT...   
Once again Haley's voice became hushed. The crowd cheered as Nathan made his way to the left side of Haley. Following exactly what Lucas had done previously he left a light kiss on Haley's lips. She was shocked to say the least and tried her best to hide the smile that was beginning to show on her face. Nathan gave a wink as he stood by her with his so called team and everyone continued to cheer.   
H. So you guys ready to rock this crowd?...  
Haley made way back over to Peyton and stood at the side lines. Just her luck she would be cheering on none other than Nathan Scott. She had been avoiding him all day and up until that innocent kiss minutes ago she had been doing a great job avoiding any sort of contact. She just felt to many emotions inside when she was in his presence. Some she just wasn't ready to deal with. I mean sure she loathed the guy, more than anything even but part of her felt another feeling towards Nathan. A feeling that she could not reveal to any. One that she had a hard time revealing to herself. A feeling that she tried so hard to deny but was too strong. When did this feeling develop she wasn't sure but she knew that it had been lingering around for quite some time. Never once being known by others though. Looking over to him she found him staring back. Why did he have to be so unbelievably good looking? why must those eyes call to her? She watched as the game began and was mesmerized by every move Nathan made. He truly was the star of the game. Lucas of course was close in skills but Nathan had something Lucas never did. He had far more passion and determination. He was determined to beat Dan Scotts record and he would some day. Haley and the rest of the girls cheered on the side lines and soon it was there turn to shine. Haley lead her group to the center as did Brooke. A whole routine had been formed between the two groups and now it was going to come together. Haley let out a breath of air as she watched Brooke begin to speak.  
B. NUMBER 3 IS MEANT FOR ME!  
Team: MINE FOR EVER!  
Haley looked over to Nathan nervously and started her part.  
H. 23 IS GONNA BE!  
Team: MINE FOR EVER  
Brooke and Haley both nodded before shouting in unison.  
B&H: RAVENS SCORE IS OUT THE DOOR! GRAB THOSE MEN AND HIT THE FLOOR!  
Team: MINE FOR EVER!  
The music started blaring as Haley made way back to her group. The song "LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE" began blaring from the speakers and Haley's team moved around rythmatically to the music. The whole auditorium was amazed at the choreography Haley had used to put together the little performance. She had practiced all day with her new found team and it actually paid off. As she finished with a simple back flip the crowd went wild. Haley exchanged glances with both Peyton and Brooke who both smiled proudly. Haley looked to be happy. Honestly a part of her was until she took notice in the crowd. Her eyes traveled each face present before a frown starting taking over her face. Even though most pep-rally were the school benefits only, both the cheerleading and basketball coach allowed some parents to attend. Mostly those of players and ones involved in the event. Haley tried hard to keep her tears hidden as she came to notice her fathers absence. True her father never really was around while he was still part of her family but no matter how busy he was never once would he miss Haley in action. He was aware of her love and passion for cheerleading and felt it was his duty to be there for her. Peyton and Brooke shared similar glances as did Tim and Luke. They all took notice in her sense of sorrow and they weren't sure what exactly to do. Haley slowly got to her feet as did the rest of her team and took position on the wall. Haley slumped over watching as Brooke started her own performance. It was as she thought just as good as her own and she tried her best to smile as her friend finished up. Her whole life had left her when she noticed that her father was not present and it hit her harder than thought. Trying to remain strong she cheered along with the rest of the crowd until the entire event came to a closing. Letting out a sigh she watched every body swarm out of the room leaving only the players and cheer team present. Haley walked over to her friends smiling as she enveloped Brooke and Peyton both into a hug. She held to them tightly and forgot about everyone else as she buried her head deep within Brookes neck. This was where she felt safe and cared for. In the arms of her best friends. The others just stood by watching the three girls connect like none other. Peyton and Brooke both whispered "I love you's" in Haley's ear and she felt herself smiling. Tightening her grip on her friends a voice was heard.  
J. Care to make this a four way?  
Haley's heart almost dropped out of her body hearing the familiar voice. She quickly pulled from the grasp on her friends and came face to face with an important part of her life. She walked slowly over to him not sure if he was just a figment of her imagination or the real thing. Hearing his laugh though sent a smile to her face.  
J. I'm not gonna bite Hales. Get on over here already. Don't keep a brotha waiting.  
She laughed at his attempt of gangsta lingo and raced into his already open arms. She felt like she was dreaming. His arms tightened to her waist as she brought her legs up around him lifting her body completely off the ground. Tears immediately fell from Haley's eye and she didn't once make an attempt in wiping them away. Holding him close felt like home.  
H. god I missed you JOEY.  
J. Same here baby sis... same here.


	7. authors note

Authors note:

Hey guys i just wanted to say that I have changed the style in which i will be delivering the next chapters. Some of you had been complaining in which it was hard on you to read. I understood and do understand completely and thought maybe this way would be easier to read and make for better chapters... let me know what yall think! Much love:)


	8. Feels like home to me

Haley couldn't help holding back the smiles that were now currently captivating her facial exterior. Looking across the table she watched in contemptmant as her older brother laughed and chatted with both his and her friends. She noted just how long it really had been since Joey was in her presence. Biting her lip, attempting to keep her emotions in check she scanned the atmosphere. There were grins evident on each one of the young teens face. It was apparent they too had missed her brother. That was normal no doubt. After all Joey had been close to a great deal of people. What did catch her a bit off guard was witnessing the encounters between Joey and him. The guy she loathed with a great deal but who also captivated her heart all the while. Haley scratched at her head as she watched the interaction between the two boys. She had never witnessed Nathan so friendly before. It was like they were best of friends, old pals even. Little did she know the two were in fact just that. You see despites Haley's hateful feelings towards the certain Scott brother Joey begged to differ. He had grown to know the real Nathan Scott. The one only Lucas and the rest of the Scott clan had known. As a child when Haley was off in play land with Lucas or studying for some childhood quiz Joey spent his time sneaking visits to Nathan. They grew a bond for each other much like brothers would and remained that way till this day. Even with Joey away at school the two friends remained at contact. At least once a week the two would share a telephone call. Nathan asking how the chicks were down there, asking about the party life and what not, while Joey focused more on asking how his baby sister was and wondering if she was being taken care of properly. They would talk for hours much like friends would about one thing or another occasionally mentioning the young female James'. Joey even had been informed about Nathan's feelings towards his baby sister and even though someone else would have ripped Nathan apart for the near thought Joey embraced it. He supported his friends' feelings one hundred percent and only hoped one day soon Haley would come to realize the man Nathan really was. But he knowing her better than any knew she would take her own time. She'd come around eventually. Haley realizing she had zoned out scooted her seat that much closer to the group and tried to piece together the conversation that was taking place.  
"I'd have to say the cheerleaders sure have gotten a lot better looking then they were in my day." Joey let out as his eyes looked Brooke over repeatedly. Haley shook her head laughing.  
"Ugh Joey don't you know better than that. Never feed Brookes ego. "She winked at her close friend and noticed that look. Apparently Lucas had been forgotten at least for today anyway. Her eyes were now on Haley's brother. Joey gave a wink towards Brooke and then focused back on his baby sister.  
"Who says I was talking about Brooke? You too are a cheerleader are you not?" he asked wiggling his eyes brows. "You deffinently have grown up baby sis." He broke out in laughter at the face Haley was sporting. She knew he was joking no doubt but even the slightest thought of her brother suggesting she looked good made her quite nauseous.  
Nathan slung an arm around her shoulder as he whispered huskily.  
"Your brothers right there Haley. You do look mighty fine. Sure you don't want to take me up on those offers? You know I'm still currently available. I can always pencil you in." His lips left a soft kiss as he pulled away and continued the conversation with the others. Haley brought her hands up to both cheeks as she replayed over and over what just had happened. Why hadn't she replied back? Where had her little sarcasm remarks gone? How come her whole brain had just shut down at the mere feel of Nathan's hot lips on her body? All sorts of thoughts ran through her as she felt him. Flashes of what seemed to memories flooded through her. His lips on her own, their bodies rubbing up against each others, his breath tickling at her skin, his hands on her. She couldn't shake the thoughts or feels as her cheeks grew red. Where was her mind at? How could she even think things like that? They couldn't have been true no doubt but why did they seem so real? Snapping out of her thoughts she heard her brothers' voice once again.  
"God have I missed this. There really is only one tree hill." The others smiled at this as Haley's voice spilled out in a whisper.  
"Enough for you to stay?" She hated knowing this was only temporary. She hated thinking in a couple of days Joey would be leaving her again, leaving her alone to care for a drunken mother, leaving her for a stupid school that would remain sturdy for many years. He could always go back. Why couldn't he just be there for his own sister right now? Haley felt the knot forming in her throat as she tried to manage a swallow. Why must it be like this? She cursed herself for even asking that question aloud for she already knew what he was to say.  
"Hales you know I can't. I mean I can't just give up my life for…" His voice trailed off as he watched Haley's face darken. He knew the words had come out wrong. That she would take them the wrong way. She stood to her feet not looking at anyone but him. A single tear dropped from the ducts of her eyes as she shook her head in disapproval.  
"Yeah we can't have you give up those precious college parties for little old me. I'm out of here. I have other things to do, more important." As she started walking his hand grabbed hers. She thought about looking back but it didn't feel right. It never did. She hated being angry with him for something that she knew would come. But it was how she felt. She couldn't change it. Quickly retracting her arm and pulling away from his grasp in disgust her voice spoke with venom.  
"Don't ever touch me."

The whole gang watched as Haley's figure retreated from the cafe. Her shoulders were slumped and only a few could tell she was about to once again break. The girls shared similar glances as they too rose from their seats. Peyton planting a soft kiss to jakes forehead and Brooke to Lucas lips the girls excused themselves and followed after their friend. That left the boys alone. Jake had a clean table to tend to and left the three there to chat among themselves. Lucas looked Joey over. He was pissed that he could just be so careless. Joey wasn't regarding his sisters feelings what so ever. His emotions angered as he thought of Haley crying right now. Being saddened because she had no one left. Lucas looked at Joey with disgust much like Haley had prior and reached over. Grabbing the older guys' shirt in hand he brought him up in a standing position. Tightening his grasp on Joey's collar his voice boomed out.  
"No way in hell will I let you get away with talking to Haley like that. I don't care if you're her brother or what. She needs you man and you treat her like that. Wow you're an even bigger ass than I remembered." As he finished his statement Joey threw his head back laughing. This only caused Lukes' temperature to rise. Jerking him forward slightly he was only inches away from joeys face.  
"You think this is funny man?" Taking Lucas' hands and removing them from his shirt he looked the guy over before smiling.  
"I'm glad to know Haley has had someone to look after her all these years."  
"Yeah well someone had to do it." Joey nodded his head in agreement before sitting back down. Popping a fry into his open mouth he spoke once again.  
"Not anymore."  
"Excuse me?" Lucas was at a bit of confusion. What was Joey saying? Didn't he just make it perfectly clear to Haley that he wasn't staying? Tilting his head to the side Lucas squinted his eyes while replying.  
"What are you getting at James?"  
"You see its all part of the master plan." Joey exclaims throwing his hands up in exaggeration and sliding down further in his seat. "You see I took a leave of absence from school. I told them I have more important things to take care of right now. So I got me a good two years off. That way I can make myself a home back here again, helping my baby sister and mom along. Its' the right thing to do after all."  
"But you…"   
"What I said to Haley was just a scam. I want her to be surprised. I'm gonna swing by the house after we leave here. Ask her if she minds coming with me for the ride. I got to get my stuff and all."  
The three guys shared a smile as Lucas brought himself down in a sitting position.  
"About the whole shirt thing…"  
"No problem. Besides there's plenty of time for me to get even. I mean didn't you hear? Joey James' is back in town." The three guys hoot and holler at the one statement and order a couple more baskets of fries. After all there was much to catch up on.


	9. Don't leave me

He looked around at the two guys he found himself associated with and couldn't help but be proud. His sister had surely done herself good. She had the love and protection of two great guys and despite all that she had been through, the lack of his presence; he knew his sister was well cared for. Popping a fry into his mouth Joey wiped the salt from his finger tips while rising to a stand. Shaking hands with both boys Joey spoke with a wide grin.

"Alright well I'm off. Got to swing by the house and pick up hales. I'll be seeing you boys."

As she retreated from the cafe Joey couldn't help the joy radiating inside him. He was finally back home where he belonged. Hopping inside his cream colored mountain S. U. V. he turned the key briskly and let the sound of the rap fill the car space. Letting his mind travel to all the memories him and Haley shared as siblings Joey tapped his hands over the steering wheel, bopping his head along with the music. He grew more and more into the tunes captivating his stereo and didn't notice his surroundings when the light turned green. Not even thinking to check for any oncoming vehicles he pulled himself onto the busy street. It came as a complete shock when out of nowhere he sensed the impact. Joey not having thought to buckle is safety belt felt his body slide across the interior as the other car continued pummeling into his own. As the metal closed in around his body a tightening ceased his chest and air was becoming rather difficult. The noise of tires screeching was heard all around as a fluid seemed to fill his oral opening. Gasping weakly he felt himself grow with nausea and in an instant his sight darkened. Bringing him in a not so conscious state.

Haley was keeping herself as busy as possible cleaning up broken bottles, cigarette buds, and other junk consumed on the carpeted flooring. Filling the trash bag Haley made out the crashes, moans, and vomiting cries coming from her mothers room. Sighing and placing a hand to her head she tried her hardest to keep herself from tearing. Clutching the bottle of rum tightly in her grasp she fought the idea of taking a sip or so of the contents. Bringing the half empty bottle up to her moistened lips a knock interrupted her actions and she watched intently as Nathan's figure stormed through her front door. One look at him she was certain something was wrong. Tears were held in his piercing eyes and a look of sorrow was washed up on his features. Placing the liquor back onto the coffee table she looked to him. It felt like the world had momentarily stopped for a bit while the two continued gazing to one another. In reality it had yet to be minutes. Only several seconds rather. Nathan's chest heaved as he quickly moved himself closer to her. How he was about to break the news was beyond him. Letting a few more tears spill from his eyes Nathan's voice spoke with urgency.

"Haley, Joey was in an accident. We have to... we have to go to him. Right now."  
Her head grew with heat as her heart rate quickened with speed. She felt a sickness grow in the pit of her stomach as she clutched Nathan's arm in anger.  
"You're lying! I don't believe you."  
"Hales..."  
"Don't call me that! You're nothing but a lying son of a bitch! I want you out of my house Nathan. GET OUT!"

She pushed her arms forward slamming her body weight that into his own. Trying to cause him as much pain as she was feeling herself. Continuing to bruise at his frame Nathan held her arms firmly out keeping her from taking another swing. 

"HALEY LISTEN! I promise you I'm not lying. God i wish I was. We witnessed the whole thing happening Haley. Lucas went into the ambulance with him. You have to get down there. You have to see him."

Hearing all his words she tried to block out everything spoken. It couldn't be true. She had just been with him. Argued with him nonetheless. How could all of that happen just a bit ago and now... now here Nathan was trying to tell her that Joey was in the hospital? She didn't believe it. She wouldn't let herself. Attempting in asking once more for him to see his way out Haley saw the car parking outside her driveway. A shock bolted through her and her eyes began to fog over as a form retreated from the red cop vehicle. Raising a hand covering her mouth as sob surpassed her as the officer entered inside the open doorway.

"excuse me miss? Is Mr. or Mrs. James available?"

Not being able to find words Haley just shook her head while Nathan answered for her. Not wanting to share the truth of the entire situation and feeling it wasn't exactly his place he replied with a simple.

"Her parents are away sir. Can we help you with something?"  
"Are you a relative of Joseph Steven James?"  
Watching Haley once again retaliate in nod he once again began.  
"Maybe you should take a seat there honey. I... I think you shouldn't be standing when hearing this news."

Reaching for her in help in guidance she instantly flinched from his touch and shook her head in disagreement. Keeping her mouth tight lipped and grinding her teeth all the while she whispered in much assertiveness.

"I'm fine."  
"But miss I think maybe if you just..."  
"I said I am fine. Now please explain why it is you are here?"

She was now aware what the truth behold but for a reason unexplainable she needed to hear him say it. She needed to hear clearly from the officer that in fact Nathan had been right all along. That Joey really was in a horrible state at the moment. Placing her hand onto Nathan's broadened shoulder she made certain to balance herself in attempt to keep from falling. Tilting her head to the side she closely focused on the words spilling from the officers oral cap.

"I'm very sorry to report the accident of Joseph Steven James. He is residing at Tree Hill memorial hospital from what I hear and in fatal condition. It isn't looking to good and my suggestions be you rally the family up. Head over there as soon as possible and maybe offer him a proper good-bye. I'm quite sorry Ms. James."

Signaling a good-bye he slowly departure from the premises as Haley broke completely. Falling into Nathan's awaiting arms she held to him as air sucked from her lungs. He had a firm hold on her as he too cried along in silence. He tried his best whispering words of comfort and apology as she clung to him in desperate need. Both were in a state of weakness. Both were in a position of losing a close friend and or family. Haley's body shook as she felt herself lose breath. Emotions were running through her like never before. She felt herself experience moments of sadness, guilt, worry, confusion, desperation, curiousness, spite, anger and many others as the moments sunk in. As her eyes grew heavy, and as darkness became one with her.


	10. don't want to let you go

As Haley and Nathan silently made their way through the quiet hallways of Tree hill memorial Haley felt her breath catch. They were moments away from reality. In just bit she would be standing before him. Standing before her bruised, distraught, and crippled brother while listening to the words of his doctors speak. She was in no hurry to hear the news. After all what may be spoken would basically form the future of her life. Of her own brothers life. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this. After all who is. But more so then ever Haley needed for him to be all right. She needed to at least speak with him once again. She just hoped more than anything she had that chance. She couldn't be left alone. How would she survive without him? How would her family make it without the stronghold? Joey was the glue that basically held the James' together. Even though he was absent a good 355 days out of the year he still had such an impact on his family. When visiting Diane the mother of the family seemed to clean up her act. She forced herself to put the booze away at least while her baby boy was home. Garry, their father would make sure to close the shop up at least for a while just to spend some time bonding and getting to know the man joey had become. For at least a week the James' family was back in order. Was an ordinary household and those moments Haley cherished greatly. Now what would come of them all? If he was to be lost in sleep forever how could she honestly go on? How would Diane react to the news of her boy no longer coming home for the holidays, or even never again experiencing life? All these thoughts swarmed her and made her head spin just a bit. As she looked to Nathan a small smile began gracing her lips. Suprisingly she felt favorable of him at the moment. Despite the way she acted when finding the news he was now her hero. He was the one who held her when she broke, who helped her regain herself, and who brought her here to see her brother. He was the one who was her stronghold at the moment and she was utterly grateful. Following him into the elevator she struggled to listen to his words. Everything had been foggy since the news had been delivered and concentrating on anyone's speak had been rather difficult. Tilting her head and squinting as his voice came gently she noted.

"The nurse said he is in ICU at the moment. I'm not sure if we'll be able to see him hales. I'm sure the doctor will be letting us know when we get up there. Are you okay?"

She hated that question. It was the worst use of words possible. Why did everyone seem to ask that simple sentence when knowing the answer prior? After all she just found out her brother and whole life could be fading. How would he be feeling at the moment? She thought about giving him a piece of her mind. She even thought about scoffing at the statement but looking into his eyes she could see the worry. She knew he had meant nothing from those words. She knew he was aware she in fact was not okay. But yet he still had asked. Trying to keep her tears locked away she choked back many sobs before whispering.  
"Are you?"  
Haley watched him shake his head and soon she felt a bit remorseful. Joey had been friends of many but for some reason she felt he may have just been Nathan's best. Trying to send him a sympathetic glance she found herself hurting again. This time instead of the pain she held over her own hurt she felt yet even more for Nathan. Without giving much thought she brought her hands downward. In the slowest of movements she brushed it along his much bigger one and soon found her finger tips entangled in his own. Giving a slight squeeze she looked back to him. Not really being able to speak she mouthed the words "thank you" and then as if a force of lightning struck she had come to see it. For the first time in all the years of knowing Nathan Scott she could openly see him. Not the guy she was used to. Not the guy who was known for his arrogant, cocky, son of a bitch behavior but for the first time Haley could see him for his glory. She could see his kindness, childlike worry, and his glorious heart. In a bit of amazement she watched intently as a single tear traveled from his darkened orbs and subconsciously she reached out. Using her thumb she slowly wiped away the silent tear and then positioned herself affront of him. Still holding his hand in hers she looked deeply into his soul before letting a tear of her own fall. The two remained silent as their eyes just wandered each other and their breaths momentarily stopped. So may thoughts were captivating their minds yet neither were thinking clearly at the moment. As the world around them slowly faded away she found herself yearning for him. For the guy who several minutes ago was holding her back at her house. For some reason Haley wanted that guy. Still caressing the side of his cheek she let her fingers trail along his structure. He had a glorious face. God it was amazing. The way everything fit perfectly. It was you could say beautiful. As he licked his lips in anticipation Haley felt shivers run through her body. The heat from his breathing was now rested upon her face and she could feel herself call to him. Just as her lips were about to touch that of his own the bell dinged over head and the doors to the elevator quickly parted. Hearing the rustle of the third floor take place Haley quickly snapped back into realization. It occurred to her finally just what she was about to do. Frantically pulling from Nathan she dropped his hand with much force and then spoke urgently.

"Ummm what room is he in? Joey... we uh... we should get to him."  
"Yeah your right. The nurse said somewhere along the lines of three sixteen. I think its down this way."

Pointing in the direction of the busy corridor the two made out a rather familiar figure and called to him at once.

"Luke! Lucas."

As Nathan saw the sight of his brother he felt a quick pull to his stomach. The tears that were held in his eyes and the look displayed on his face. The way he kept running his hair through his jagged locks. It couldn't be good he was certain. Glancing over to Haley and then back to his brother his voiced cracked while asking.

"Dude how is he? Have you heard anything yet?"  
"Guys its not looking to good. The doctors fear he's losing a lot of blood. He's been falling in and out of consciousness. I'm sorry hales but they don't ... they don't think he's gonna make it."

There was no way at that very instant she could keep the tears from coming. They came as the world had been expecting them. She didn't try to hide her face nor did she even bother brushing them away for there was far to many and they were just going to keep on pouring. Feeling the bile rise in her throat she clutched to her stomach tightly. As Nathan and Lucas watched this they both immediately resided at her side. Rubbing her back soothingly she placed her hands to her burning ears and covered her head. Shunning herself from the world around her she let herself scream. She didn't care at the moment if she was making a scene. the thought hadn't even registered in her mind that people could be viewing her state of turmoil. All that was captivating her mind was him. Her best friend, her family, her life. Joseph James her favorite person in the world was slowly losing life. Feeling Lucas' arms wrap securely around her she continued her screams. Whether she was letting words slip from her mouth or if they were pretty much incoherent was beyond her knowledge. The world didn't exists at the moment. The only beings that mattered were her brother, herself and considering her state, Lucas. She didn't even think of him or where he was at the moment. She didn't wonder why his touch had left her body or where he had left too. All of that did not effect her right now. She buried her head into Lucas as more screams sprang from her body. How could something so bad happen to someone such as him? Joey had done nothing wrong in life and yet there he was lying in a hospital dead preparing for death. Rocking herself she whispered the words of "no" and "please" repeatedly. She didn't want to lose him. She could not lose him. How would she survive?...


	11. Living through the horror

Although the clouded world around Haley moved in an utmost slow she new time had began ticking. Sitting on the floor of the hospital corridor she laid her head back against the wall as more tears drifted down her cheekbones. Biting her lip and bringing her eyes to that of an open she scanned the area in which she found herself. Many people were waiting patiently. Some with magazines in their hold, some flocking to their children, and some chatting it up with others. How on earth could they be acting so civil? How were they acting as if nothing seemed to be wrong? Laughing bitterly she spoke out in a whisper in which not many could hear.  
"It's because nothing is wrong." As she began chuckling once again she felt arms reach for her. Her mind state she knew was not in normal capacity but come now why must they always flee to her like a damn baby. Pushing Lucas from her she gave him a look that could kill and found her voice screeching out.  
"Stop touching me dammit! I'm not a freaking baby Luke. I can take care of myself!" As those words left her a new state of worry hit her. She would in fact need that statement to be true. She knew whether it was or not that is what she would find herself to be doing for the days to come. She would be alone from here on out. She was now certain more than ever. It had been a good hour since Haley and Nathan entered the hospital walls and since then several doctors had been approaching. They all looked terribly saddened and that's when they knew for sure. Joey would in fact not make it out of this place alive. The amount of blood, the force of impact, the broken bones. It was all working against him and causing his body to slowly lose the life within. Tightening her hands she quickly shook her head at Lucas feeling disgusted with him at the moment. Of course she would be. Here he was trying to make her feel better when the world around her was trying everything to see her fall. And who was he to go against the world around? Who was he to give her hope and love? Pushing him once more away from her she looked to the people in the waiting room and didn't give it a single more thought before bursting words from her lungs.  
"What the hell are all of you doing here anyway? Waiting? It's funny huh? We all just sit here, wait to see if our loved ones are going to make it out of here all right." Stepping around the center of the room she looked to everyone's sorrowful faces. Clenching her teeth and stepping over to one of the saddened woman she ripped the magazine from her grasp. Smirking a bit Haley then threw the paper reading to the floor and questioned.  
"What are you wasting your time here for? He's not gonna make it out alive you know." Spinning herself around she shrugged her shoulders at all the watching eyes. "No one is. Think about it. These doctors are nothing but people. They surely aren't god. Only god can truly cure our loved ones. So why put faith in these sorry bastards? Huh? Why? Why would you trust these people to keep your loved ones breathing? To make them better? To keep them alive? It's stupid really. The fate of our friends and family lie in the hands of these ... schooled people. Ones that don't have any power what so ever. Ones who just moments ago told me they were giving up. That there was nothing that they could do! You know that? They said they were done trying! They stopped! He could make it! I know he can! But its their fault! Their sorry asses should be Fired! they know nothing!" As her screams continued to fill through the room many started tearing as well. They all could see the hurt of this poor young child. The hurt she was going through at this very moment. Screaming louder and louder more sobs bounded from Haley's body. As Lucas gently grabbed for her she jumped in pure pain.  
"Don't touch me! You're just like them! You want me to be okay? You think you can make it all better! Make him live Luke! Make him better! Dammit Lucas keep Joey alive for me!" Pushing him repeatedly she lifted her hand in a raise. Swiftly and with much force she found her hand connecting with his cheekbone. Slapping the face of her best friend and causing a mark to reside there. Lucas just continued gazing through her as the sting came across his face. Her mind had drifted and he knew not to fight back. Nor would he ever consider it. As he went to reach out for her again she repeated her actions and a second sting was made known to him. People around them were all silently looking on in horror and sympathy. They did not know of what to do in a situation of this kind. As he held her arms upright keeping her from swinging again her voice became panicked.  
"Stop it you're hurting me! Let me go! Please ouch! It hurts! Stop it! Help! Help me please!" As she tried fighting his hold Lucas felt an ache deep within him. Never had Haley turned from him in time of need. He was always there for her to help her through tough times and usually she let him. Tonight was something he had yet to ever witness. As she continued her hollers of pain a soft hand slowly rested against his shoulder. Turning his head to the side his brother stood present. Knowing what Nathan had wanted from him he slowly released the arms of his best friend and backed away. Moving to the wall he watched as Nathan slowly slid his arms around his Haley and scooped her up gently. As she cried into the depths of his neck Lucas could not bare to witness. She was far to broken. This was utterly killing her inside and he knew for certain a great change would come from this dreadful night. Nothing of goodness he was certain. Leaning his forehead against the wall he gently punched the white plaster and broke along with her. Sobbing like a baby and not giving a care in the world Lucas released everything he had in him. This moment was something he never wished to experience again. And yet the night was still far from over.


	12. Final goodbyes

It was all to surreal. This moment was one she had wished to never experience. Or never did she even imagine a moment like this would enter into her life. Guilt was setting into the pit of her as she slowly made way into the silent hospital room. Shutting the door tightly behind her she heard the sound of the rhythmic beeping machines and his faint shaky breaths. Clearing her throat and trying to keep herself at a steady she moved forward. As he came fully into view Haley instantly brought a hand to her mouth. The brother she had known, the appearance he once held; this surely did not look to be even remotely similar to that of his features before. Bruises covered many inches of his arms and what was visible of his upper body. Their were cuts, gouges and many bandages wrapped around his frame. Biting at the inside of her right cheek Haley kept herself from bursting with tears. She had cried enough that was for sure. She had to remain at a strong for Joey. At least for now. Even though several tears were now spilling she forbid herself to completely break. Sitting down in the chair the room provided she scooted her body closer to his and reached for her brothers hand. Gently caressing the damaged yellow skin she sighed out.  
"God Joey I never really thought I'd be doing this. I never even pictured a time where I would have to make my final good-bye to you." Bringing his hand up to that of her lips she lightly placed a tender kiss and then let a few tears fall along his finger tips. Hearing a moan burst out from his lungs she titled her head and watched as her eyes met to his own. She remained silent as her eyes searched that of his. They always gave away what he felt and just like always she could read him. She felt his fear, and could see the hurt radiating through him. Giving his hand a tight squeeze she whispered softly.  
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ran out like that. I just..."  
"Care bear?" His voice gasped as he spoke of her childhood nickname. His chest heaved with his words and a tightening sensation caused him to wince with pain but he continued with speaking his words for her to hear. Looking to their connected hands she smiled when seeing his thumb lightly caressing her in a caring manner.  
"The doctors said there is a good chance I'm not gonna make it."  
"Joey they tried telling me. Said you weren't strong enough. But they're wrong aren't they? I mean they don't know you like I do. They don't know that you are strong enough to beat this. You can beat this can't you?"  
Haley watched as his eyes shut momentarily and he began coughing with urgent. Holding his hand tighter she watched as he tried best to regain breathing and then looked back to her face once more.  
"Haley I need you to be strong okay? I want you to live even if I'm not with you. I want you to think of me and carry me along for whatever it is you do in life. If you ever need advice think of me and the words will come to you. Hales the doctors said I might not make it and they are right. I'm not making it out of here. I need you to understand that."  
Tears were falling from her eyes as she watched too as he released moisture of his own. She never thought to hear him say those dreadful words. She never thought there would be a day when Joey James would give up. Nodding her head and trying her best to understand just what he was telling her she stayed silent. She knew this was just as hard for him as it was for herself to handle and he had yet to finish speaking.  
"Baby girl I love you with everything I have and I know you feel it. No other girl means the amount that you mean to me. Your my heart and soul Haley and the best sister I could have ever imagined to have. You are one of my best friends and that will never change." Coughing once again Haley reached out for the pitcher of water and slowly brought the straw to his chapped lips. As he sucked slowly on the liquid she brought her mouth forward placing several kisses to his forehead. Crying a bit harder in the realization in which he would be leaving shortly she set herself down once again and began a speech of her own.  
"I love you to Joey. You're my hero you know? You helped me get by these years of my life and I owe you everything. I just want you to know how much I appreciate your love you've given me. I could have never asked for a better brother. You are the most perfect."  
As his raspy breath began to grow fainter he talked in a softer tone and pleaded for her agreement.  
"Promise me... Haley I need...I need for you to promise me something."  
"Anything Joey. You name it."  
"Open up to him. He's...he's a good guy. He just tries to hide it sometimes. But he'll do you good. He made me a promise a while back to protect you from harm. I know that to be true and I need for you to let him keep you safe. I...I know right now things look as they won't get better for you. They will and I can promise you that. I am promising you'll find happiness Haley. Now please do the same."  
"Joey I..."  
"Haley please. Promise me to let yourself radiate with gladness. To let happiness shine on you again. P..please Haley do this for me."  
Watching as he grew weaker before her eyes the only thing she could bring herself to do was nod. She needed to grant his request and she would. For his final asking she would follow through. Lifting her body closer to his she let their tears mix as she kissed both sides of his cheeks with much softness. Then bringing her lips closer to rest beside his ear she let her words drift.  
"I promise."  
Hugging to him trying to keep from hurting his already broken body she felt Joey's grip slowly release from her and the sound of his breathing calm down to a stop. The beeping of the machines started to raise in volume as the life drained out from his body. Crying as she watched the effects of life or shall I say death take from her brother she stepped from the room entering the arms of the awaiting fellow. Bringing her arms around him she buried her face in the space of his neck. Making sure to hold him as tightly as possible she breathed out in pain and whispered the words she never wished to speak again.  
"He's gone Nathan...please just... I need you."  
Pulling her waist and body closer to his own he closed his eyes and nodded as the tears too spilled from him. Running a hand through her soft hair the words of his best friend rang through his ears.  
"Keep her safe Nate. She's going to need you. Trust me."


	13. Placing the blame

It was like watching a movie, a living nightmare, or some tragic story you read in the paper. Never did Haley expect it to be reality. Never did she once ponder something this bad could torment her life. Looking down at the yellow daisies she held tightly between her finger tips she cursed this moment. Closing her eyes and letting tears fall from her ducts she distinctively made out others whimpers. It seemed that everyone felt the loss of his spirit. The whole town was present. Each and every being that resided in Tree Hill North Carolina stood sadly before the minister as he spoke the death of Joseph Steven James. His words came out in a tone of no emotion. A tone that could bluntly be heard from all around but yet showed he had no knowledge of the poor boy. It showed that he was not effected as the others were. Biting the corner of her lip Haley held in the sobs that racked her turmoil soul. She was witnessing a scene that should never be viewed. As they slowly lowered the brown wooden casket lowers into the deepened dirt hole she felt the immediate pang of ruin. Like someone had sucked all the air out of her. A feeling as if now there was no upside to living. Without her hero by her side how could she even think of going on? How was she to take care of her mother without him there? Or take care of herself for that matter? The weight of the world was now resting on her young shoulders and she felt like she should have been the one residing in that casket. After all if she could have traded places with her brother she would have never thought twice. Running a hand through her auburn hair she took in her surroundings. She recognized some but others well they were new faces to her. A young girl who seemed to be a little bit older than herself was sitting a good distance away clutching to a picture frame. Tears were rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall she looked heartbroken. Squinting and trying to get a better view of the young lady Haley recognized her immediately. From all the conversations Haley had previously shared with her brother, the way he described this one remarkable creature. Walking in a motion which consisted of very little Haley made way over to this girl. Her hair was tightly woven into a nice french braid and the mascara she had placed on her long elegant lashes was now trailing with each tear fallen. Standing affront of her Haley whispered out.  
"S...savannah?"  
Watching the young woman's eye lift to that of her own and seeing her instantly nod her head she forced herself to plaster a smile across her swollen lips. Lifting her shaky hand forward she cleared her throat and attempted in speaking.  
"I d..don't know if you heard all that much about me? B..but I'm Ha..."  
Before Haley even had a chance to finish her sentence her words were cut through with the young ladies much weaker squeak.  
"You're Haley. I recognize you from all the pictures Joe kept of you in his dorm. When we first started hanging out I was jealous about all the pictures he had of you lying around. I thought you were some ex girlfriend or something. But then he explained how... you were his best friend and baby sister. I'm so sorry Haley. This must be horribly tough on you."  
Listening to her voice speak of the memories Haley felt almost angered towards this kind stranger. Sure she was nice enough and yes she was being genuinely kind to her at the moment but she was the reason Joey had been away for so long. She was what kept him from the more important aspects of life, his family. Trying to hide the resentment she felt she gave a silent nod before turning quickly on her heels and making way back over to her mothers side. As she was about to step over she could hear the soft like way she spoke. She was looking downward into the open grave and was speaking with much pain. It was apparent she was making her final goodbye to her loving son. Haley watched the love her mother was showing and felt her breath catch. This was the worst of days and they soon would grow worse. It was finally hitting home. Most say it takes several days for the family to come to cope with the fact that their loved one isn't coming home. Well for Haley it seemed to hit her sooner than most. For at this second she felt him leave her completely. Looking to the sky she let her tears drift from her body and raised her hands to her sides. Wanting to fly away and be lifted from her feet she prayed that this was some prank joke. But yes she knew better. As she closed her eyes downward and tried to recall all the memories a voice broke her concentration. A voice that would only bring her even more sadness.  
"Its a funny thing. The only time your mother is actually sober is at her sons funeral. Well I guess I should give her credit for that one huh?" As his hands clapped together Haley turned with gritted teeth. Why must things always go from bad to so much worse in an instant. It felt as though her heart couldn't break anymore yet somehow pieces were still shattering. Wrapping her arms around her sides she hugged herself and tried to focus. Her breath was begin to increased with speed and she felt light weighted for a moment. She feared passing out yet also eager to drift for a moment. Rubbing both her arms trying to keep heat within her she cursed out.  
"You know for the last couple of days I begged for you to come back. For you to enter the door with a big happy grin yelling the words of April fools or something. Claim it was some joke. Just like I cling to the dream that this too may just be some prank he's pulling. That he's not really gone. But I know better."  
Stepping closer to him she felt her knees wobble beneath her but forced herself to stand upright. She would remain stand still in front of him. Prove she would be just fine without his sorry behind and claim that they would get through Joey's death without the help of him.  
"You know you have every right to be here. I can't ask that you leave. But don't toy with me Daddy. You can't just walk away from us and then show up a couple days later."  
"Oh come on baby girl. I never meant to hurt you by leaving like that. Aren't you glad to see your old man?"  
Letting several more tears fall she nodded her head but made no move to fall into his arms. She wouldn't let herself go there. As much as she missed her Dad these last few days she couldn't let him comfort her. For she knew better. He would help her through today and then be gone again tomorrow and Haley couldn't let herself feel any more pain. As she held his gaze she wished that things could go back to normal. That he could come home every night from work smelling of mobile grease and or oil, that they together could cook a fabulous meal for dinner, that her mother would return back to her job and do away with her good for nothing drinking problem, and most importantly that Joey could be filled with life once more and hold her close to him. She wished all those things in the deep of her heart but looking around her she knew it was all a useless hope. For she had the power in changing nothing. Catching her mothers gaze from afar she noted the look she displayed. It showed much hurt and even betrayal. Cringing in seeing her walk away from the cemetery land and entering her beat up old car she watched as her mother slowly drove off. Leaving Haley alone with the rest of the mourners. Feeling at a loss she watched from the corner of her eyes as two beings made way closer to her. They walked sauntering over casually yet she knew they were checking on her state of mind. Which currently was not all that well cared for. Clutching her fists Haley's head spun trying to figure what she could possibly do. Her father seemed worried yet who was he to care for her anymore? He didn't care when he left her alone in the cold driveway days ago. He surely had no right in giving a single damned thought now. Just as these fours were about to meet in one solid circle rain drops began fleeting from the sky. Roars of thunder barked out and the moist drops pummeled down on top of their heads. Haley let herself cry as the rain drowned out her sobs. Shaking her head in disgust she pushed past her father as fast as she could and began running. Where to she had no idea. For she just felt the walls closing. Losing Joey was something that made her feel entirely different inside. She was no longer the norm. Quite frankly she wasn't even so certain she ever would become the once known Haley James again. For that girl was lost complete in the obis. Swept away in the wind. No point in returning.

Lucas sighed stepping out of his truck and slamming the door to follow. It had been several hours since Haley ran from her brothers funeral. Since she took off into the cold rain of day. Scratching at the back of his head he wondered just where she had gone too. For Lucas new Haley all too well. And if for some reason she did not want to be found. Well lets just say she would remain hidden for quite some time. As his sneakers splashed through each puddle he walked onward up the stairs to his doorway. Just as he was about to turn the key and welcome the warmth of home he heard the sound of faint cries. Turning quickly he saw the broken sight of his best friend. She was huddled in the corner of his patio deck clinging to her knees and rocking in an every slow motion. Seeing the daze look she held he reached out to grab at her and exhaled with relief when she let him lift her into his arms. Holding her tightly to him afraid that she would crumble if he was to ever let her go he opened his doorway and entered slowly. Feeling the heat flush around them he slowly placed his best friend onto his bed before rummaging quickly through his drawers. Pulling several articles of clothing he went to sit by her side. Rubbing a hand through her now soggy wet locks he questioned with softness.

"Hales how 'bout we get you into some dry clothes huh? We don't want you getting sick."

As he went to reach for her soaking shirt she squirmed and pushed his hand away. It wasn't that she was scared of him undressing her. Being friends for several years there were many times they accidentally caught a glimpse of one another's body. It was no longer embarrassing to either and well it was almost natural. In his second attempt she almost grew with anger but just shook her head in protest.

"Lucas will you knock it off already? Just leave me alone."

"But your soaking wet. I don't want you to catch something Haley. I don't need you to get sick on top of everything."

Lifting her eyes to his she tilted her head back in laughter. Not a happy Haley giggle or even a oh so funny laugh. It was more of a remorseful and evil toned snicker. It made Lucas shiver to the bone and wonder what had gotten into his poor friend.

"It's always about you huh Luke? Always about what may un convenient your life or the things you do or don't need. Its never about me is it?"

Growing with curiosity Lucas furrowed his brows before gently asking.

"Haley what are you talking about? I always put you first. You know that. You're my world. Always have and will be my number one."

A look of pain shot through Haley as everything seemed foggy in her mind. All these random thoughts and feelings were bursting through her and she was having difficulty keeping herself in check. She felt as though right now the whole entire world was singling her out. Like they were purposely throwing pain her way and instantly turning their back. Forcing her to deal with everything alone. She felt her cheeks grow with warmth as her whole body began to shake with frustration. She didn't know for sure why she was mad at Lucas. He had done nothing wrong. He had taken her in and now was trying his best to take care of her. Maybe that's why she was mad. Maybe she didn't want him to be the one reaching out for her. Maybe the only one she wanted comfort from was not here anymore. Maybe he had left her for all eternity. Maybe she was now feeling betrayed that he could leave. Just like her father did. Joey abandoned her. But she knew it wasn't his fault. She figured it was her own and that's why she was feeling resentment. It was herself she was really angered with but Lucas was the easier target. She was so sure that the reason for Joey's accident was her own stupid cause. If she didn't run off like a baby maybe he wouldn't have been in a rush to go after her. For she wasn't there and not positive on what went down after she left the cafe but still she felt it in her heart. Joey was gone and it was her doing. What a selfish and rotten person she had come to be. As all these thoughts rushed through her mind she once again felt Lucas' hand on her.

"Haley if you just let me..."

"No!" Her voice shook with anger as she threw his hands off her body. Standing to her feet with all the strength left in her she yelled with venom.

"You are nothing but a selfish bastard. All you care about is yourself and quite frankly I'm sick and tired of it. There are far more things to worry about in life Lucas."

He tried to let her speak her mind. Tried to keep himself in control and not grow with annoyance at her attitude towards him. He knew she was hurting beyond belief and that is why he let her speak freely about how much she thought to hate him. He didn't like her use of words but if it made her feel better he thought he could handle her blows. Swallowing forcefully he calmly questioned her outburst.

"How am I selfish Haley? I live for you day in and day out. How is that selfish what so ever?"

Scoffing at his statement Haley tossed her wet dripping hair to the side of her head and then began once more.

"You live for me? Ha that's a laugh. You are kidding right? Name one thing you have done for me in the last month? I mean come on all you care about is yourself and your precious little needs. The needs you would put first before anything else. Think about it. All your spare time you have spent with Brooke. My Brooke. My best friend who you desperately crave. Yeah! You use her for your man needs and then toss her out! You use me too! You don't even care Luke. As long as your happy right? Some friend you are. You dirty no good son of a bitch! Ugh I hate you!"

Her voice boomed louder and louder with each word and Lucas shook his head at her behavior. He didn't know how to stop her rampage but he was sure as hell getting tired of hearing her knock him down. No matter how bad she was hurting he wanted to make known that he was her friend. That he was there for her. Standing to his feet he began to speak his own mind.

"Yeah I'm so selfish right Haley? Come on I give up my weekends to cater you around! I put you first before any other girl in my life! Your so damn senile at the moment you can't see it but I do more for you than anyone has in your entire life! I care about you Haley! ME!"

"Name one thing you've done for me then? Name one thing you've done worthy of me? COME ON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR POOR HALEY J!"

"CALLED YOUR SO CALLED BROTHER AND ASKED HIM TO GET HIS SORRY ASS DOWN HERE BECAUSE HIS SISTER NEEDED HIM! I CALLED JOEY! I MADE HIM COME! I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH AND I ASKED THAT HE COME SEE HIS SISTER! I TOLD HIM YOU NEEDED HIM! I DID THAT FOR YOU HALEY! SOME JERK I AM RIGHT!"

After letting his voice scream out violently the air seemed stiffened. He didn't want to bring Joey into this conversation. Haley didn't need that at the moment. He noticed her face take on a resemblance of stone and felt his body drain. He knew he had struck the wrong cords and feared she would self combust. Pitying her he stepped closer feeling the need to embrace her but she only pushed him away with as much strength as she could muster. She felt the air rush out of her lungs as she questioned.

"You made him come here?"

Lucas nodded his head afraid to speak and just listened to Haley as she fought to find the right words.

"I thought it was my fault." Pausing she slowly backed herself away from him. Scared to even look into those eyes. She felt betrayed and far more frightened then ever. Turning the knob to his door she left the words linger before racing out into the night.

"When in reality it was yours."


	14. Announcment

hey guys im on break for a week! i'll reply after that! so expect more in a week! no later:)


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